


War Plague

by NetRaptor



Series: Destiny and Destiny 2 stories [11]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Awkward Romance, F/M, Pandemic - Freeform, Politics, Post Apocalypse, fallen invaders, parent trap ghosts, useful emotes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-10 07:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15944744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NetRaptor/pseuds/NetRaptor
Summary: Guardian Jayesh has a growing attraction to his teammate Kari, but he doesn't have the nerve to bring it up. Then Jayesh, Kari, and the other warlocks undergo a huge healing campaign to stop a plague sweeping through the winter-locked Last City. The Red War has left the city starving and without shelter, and saving it will take the entire Vanguard ... and it might destroy Jayesh.





	1. Chapter 1

"You should ask Kari out on a date," Phoenix said.

Jayesh gave his ghost a horrified look. "You're kidding. Right? Say you're kidding."

It was a quiet night in the Tower. Jayesh, a young warlock nearing the end of his first year as a Guardian, had been idly clicking through websites at his desk computer, clad in second-hand canvas pants that had once belonged to a hunter, and the loose woven shirt his ghost had resurrected him in.

The single expensive object in the tiny dorm room was the shell his ghost wore - fiery red and yellow. The little robot floated beside him, looking somehow mischievous for only having a single eye.

"I'm totally serious," Phoenix said. "She really likes you. I know you like her."

"Let me spell this out for you," Jayesh said, spinning his swivel chair to face his ghost. "She's been a Guardian for seventy years. She's been married before. She's my senior in the fireteam, for the Traveler's sake. We're friends, Phoenix. Let's keep it that way."

Jayesh faced his computer again, resuming the article he had been reading about the dire condition of the Last City's medical supplies.

"Neko thinks so," Phoenix said.

Jayesh flopped back in his chair and dug his hands into his thick brown hair. "Her ghost is in on this, too? What is this, a conspiracy?"

"She was barely married five years, Jay," Phoenix said. "Her husband and his ghost were killed by the Hive. She's been alone ever since, and Neko tells me how lonely she is. Friendship with your ghost can only go so far, you know?"

Jayesh twirled Phoenix's segments, spinning them like fan blades around his core. "Yeah, because ghosts are pests, not people."

"Stop that," Phoenix said, halting his segments and adjusting them. "And don't give me that. We're people - we're just not human."

"Look, Phoenix," Jayesh said. "I've got bigger problems than dating Kari right now. The whole city is going into strict food rationing. The Red War destroyed sixty percent of our resources. Thousands of people still don't have a place to live. They're staying in shelters, most of them without walls. And, Phoenix, it's snowing out there."

He pointed at his computer screen. Phoenix studied it soberly. After a while, the little robot said, "What can we do? You're a combat Guardian. It's not like we could go out and build houses for people."

Jayesh flicked through article after alarming article. "I don't know, yet. I'm only one man. But I want to do something. Maybe Ikora would have an idea."

He opened his email and wrote his commander a message, explaining about the City's troubles and asking how he could help. He pressed Send, and sat there, gazing at his screen in silence.

Pheonix made a sound like a sigh. "Why do you want to help people so badly? I can feel how much this means to you."

"Guardians aren't supposed to remember their past lives," Jayesh said, gazing at his desk. "But when those cultists knocked me out and captured me, I had a dream. From when I was ... just human. My brother had back-stabbed his way into leadership of our village, and he was about to execute me for standing up to him. But he was being pressured into it by ... I think the priests? It's fuzzy. Anyway, what I remember is the hopelessness of standing barefoot in the snow, waiting to die. And those people in the City, Phoenix. They're human. They're all that's left of my people. How many of them will die this winter if I don't do something?"

Phoenix considered this for a long moment. "Jay, you have the true heart of a Guardian."

Jayesh smiled a little. "Am I the best Guardian?"

"Of course you are."

"Don't all ghosts think that about their Guardians?"

"All of us are right," Phoenix said. He flew up and ruffled Jayesh's hair by spinning his shell. Jayesh laughed and snatched at him, but Phoenix phased from between his fingers in a swirl of blue particles.

"And you should ask Kari out," he added in Jayesh's head.

"It'll make things weird between us, Phoenix," Jayesh said. "I want us to just be friends. Besides, it'll mess up the chain of command and everything."

"Suit yourself," Phoenix sniffed. "But don't be surprised if she asks you."

"Only because you and Neko put her up to it," Jayesh said acidly. "I'll bet you're telling Neko that I'm proclaiming my undying love right now."

Phoenix whistled innocently.

Jayesh drew a breath to argue further, but his computer chimed as a new message arrived. He swiveled to read it, back to business. His ghost reappeared and read over his shoulder.

Ikora had replied.

_Dear Jayesh,_

_You're not the first one in the Vanguard to express concern for our people this winter. While the Consensus is deliberating about how best to stretch our resources, I've been working in a small way to alleviate some of the coming suffering. There is a medical clinic a few blocks from the old Tower. I assign a warlock healing duty there once a week. If you like, you may take that assignment this week, starting tomorrow. Brush up on your healing rift skill._

Jayesh sent back his acceptance, then stood and paced around his tiny room. "Healing sick people! What a great idea. Phoenix, how long can I cast a healing rift?"

"You've never used it out of battle, so I don't know," Phoenix replied. "In fights, your focus is split, so you can only maintain it a minute at most."

"Well, let's try." Jayesh summoned the Light granted to all Guardians and waved his hand at the floor. The floor boards lit with a living blue shimmer, like water. The healing power lapped Jayesh, refreshing him.

He concentrated, holding the rift in place. "Really, it's not that hard," he told Phoenix. "It only takes a fraction of my brain. I guess that's why warlocks can use them in battle."

"See how long you can maintain it, then," Phoenix said. "If you're healing very sick people, the Light may take longer to work. Plus, they're not Guardians."

Jayesh easily held the rift in place for six minutes, and with more concentration, ten minutes more.

"I could probably go twenty or thirty minutes, if I practiced," Jayesh said cheerfully. "That'd be enough to heal most ailments, right?"

"Maybe," Phoenix said doubtfully. "When your whole team is hanging out in the rift, it heals a tad slower. If you cram a bigger crowd in, I think the slowdown will be dramatic."

"We won't know until we try," Jayesh said.

* * *

The medical clinic had been damaged during the Red War. One wing had been reduced to a mound of broken concrete and framing, blocked off from the street by a barricade of salvaged boards.

The rest of the clinic had been crammed into the remaining building, which had once been exam rooms with a secondary waiting room. The staff, mostly women, wore grimy clothing and had the smudges of relentless exhaustion under their eyes. People sat against the wall outside the clinic, waiting their turn for a doctor, the snow heaped around them in gray mounds. They stared at Jayesh as he approached.

He halted, shocked at the sight of such a crowd. He'd worn his combat robes, brown and white, and he felt about ten baths cleaner than anyone else there. Many were shivering in the cold morning, their lips blue.

One man climbed to his feet, coughing a chesty, wet cough. He wiped his mouth and extended the same hand to Jayesh. "Are you this week's warlock?"

Thankful for his gloves, Jayesh shook hands. "Yes, I'm Guardian Jayesh. How long have you been waiting?"

"A few hours," the man replied, his voice raspy. He had the saggy, shrunken look of a man who had once been fat, but lost weight too quickly. His eyes were bloodshot. "Some people have been here longer than me."

Jayesh nodded. "Well, I can create a healing rift here, before I go in. Hang on." He dug his heel into the dirty snow and dragged it in a ten-foot circle. He took his place in the center. "I don't know how many people will fit in here, but let's try."

The people had watched this with rising hope, scrambling to their feet, lifting children in their arms. Now they crowded forward, pressing into the circle, jostling Jayesh.

He waved one hand downward, calling on the Light. The snow blazed blue. At once, the healing power crept into the people, mending wounds and eating away at infections and sickness. People sighed. One woman began softly crying. A child exclaimed, "Mama, I can breathe!"

Maintaining the rift was easy enough that Jayesh could think about other things. The woman closest to him had no coat, and was wrapped in a scavenged blanket. Her face was too thin, the cheekbones standing out beneath her eyes.

"When did you last eat?" he asked her quietly.

She gave him a startled look. "Oh - I know I look bad, Mr. Warlock. I had cancer before the Red War, and naturally, my treatments stopped. I think these healing rifts have cured it, but I haven't regained much weight."

Astonished, Jayesh thought to his ghost, "Healing rifts cure cancer?"

"Maybe," Phoenix replied from phase. "I notice she keeps coming back for more healing, so maybe it only beats it down for a while."

Jayesh spoke to various people, learning their stories, their illnesses, how they'd survived the Red War. But after a while he had to stop and concentrate on keeping the rift going, gazing at the blue light underfoot with a frown.

Finally he let it expire, releasing a long breath. The people murmured and stepped out of the circle, flexing arms, stamping feet, and smiling at one another.

"I hope I helped you," Jayesh told them. "I'll be here all week if you need more."

As he pushed his way through the clinic's heavy doors, Phoenix murmured in his head, "This will be a beating."

The waiting room was crammed with people - sitting, standing, huddled together in groups for warmth. The building had no power, and it was nearly as cold indoors as out. It smelled heavily of body odor and sickness.

"Uh, Phoenix," Jayesh thought, "keep me healed, all right? I don't want to catch anything."

"Of course."

Since he could barely get through the door, Jayesh dropped another healing rift. He had to do it three times, curing people in batches, who departed afterward, looking happier. By the time he reached the front of the room, where a woman was keeping records by the light of a tiny brazier, he was lightheaded.

She, too, was thin and none too clean. But her eyes were bright as she glared at Jayesh. "You should have informed me before you started work, Guardian. People inside have been waiting since five o'clock this morning. Healing is first come, first served."

"I couldn't get in," Jayesh snapped, the heat of angry humiliation rising in his cheeks. "Do you have this many people here every day?"

"Yes," the woman said. "The sickest patients are in the exam rooms. I'll show you in."

She stalked into the dark building, muttering about inconsiderate warlocks and being overworked with so little pay. Jayesh followed, trying not to listen and control his temper.

The first door the woman opened contained three women and a crowd of children, all huddled on the floor under a window with no shutter. Their gaunt, hungry faces greeted Jayesh, hope gleaming in their eyes.

As he produced a healing rift for them, Phoenix said in his head, "What illness is this?"

Jayesh asked. One of the women answered, "Doctor says it's like pneumonia, but it doesn't respond to drugs. They're calling it War Lung. Everybody has it."

The man who had greeted him outside, coughing such a terrible cough ... Jayesh studied them as they basked in his Light. "How's sanitation?"

After hearing about sewer lines contaminating water lines, and of how all water had to be boiled, but without power, this was nearly impossible, Jayesh regretted asking.

He moved from room to room, healing groups of various illnesses, but mostly War Lung. He finally found a doctor in one room, who was listening to a man's heart with a stethoscope. As Jayesh began healing, he asked the doctor, "Where does War Lung come from?"

"Stress and poor living conditions," the doctor sighed. She was a short woman with bushy hair who looked as if she hadn't slept in days. "We don't have enough drugs to treat everyone. It's even worse at the hospitals. We're overrun, Guardian. Ikora sends what warlocks she can spare, and we're grateful. But the need is only going to increase. Most of these people will return in a few weeks. War Lung is extremely contagious, and people can't stay clean enough to prevent the spread of germs."

Jayesh saw this for himself. Everyone was dirty and hungry-looking. He healed and healed until sundown, when the clinic closed. People waiting outside were turned away, and stumbled away through the snow, coughing.

Jayesh walked back to the Tower, exhausted, with barely a flicker of Light left in him. "Phoenix, I think I need to burn my clothes. So many people coughed on me."

"I'll mark them for decontamination," Phoenix replied. "Meanwhile, get food in you. It's been nine hours since you ate."

Jayesh was famished, but he took a shower, first, hearing that awful cough in his head. Then he changed into clean clothes and sent his gear to the Tower's laundry facility for cleaning.

It was eight o'clock by the time he reached the mess hall. It was mostly empty, but there was still the remains of dinner in the buffet. Jayesh helped himself to everything and sat at an empty table.

Phoenix emerged from phase and floated nearby to keep him company. "Well. Today was ... educational."

Jayesh indicated his meal with his fork. "I feel bad, eating this much. So many people down there barely have enough food to survive."

"We'll be rationed soon, too," Phoenix said, looking down. "I can't believe how bad it is. Your healing rift performed amazingly, but ... we need every warlock in the Vanguard down there, not just you."

"I know," Jayesh said. "Traveler's Light, I'm tired. No wonder Ikora's volunteers only last a week."

As he ate, he revived a bit. After a while, he said, "Phoenix, I'm building a to-do list. Can you record it for me?"

"Sure," Phoenix replied.

"After my week is up," Jayesh said, "I need to talk to Ikora about sending more warlocks. Kari might help me. I want to find out who's in charge of utilities and talk about cleaning up the water and sewer situation. I want to see the shelters where people are living. Also, notify me when Madrid gets back from patrol. Maybe he can tell me more about the food situation."

Phoenix recorded each item. "Looks like we have our work cut out for us."

Jayesh pushed his plate aside, leaned his elbows on the table, and gazed into his ghost's eye. "The Traveler is a healer, Phoenix. If I want to be its true servant, then I that's my mission, too."

"You're also its Guardian," Phoenix pointed out. "It created you to fight when it couldn't."

"There's more than one way to fight for what's right," Jayesh replied. "Alleviating suffering, tending the sick, feeding the hungry-why can't Guardians do that, too?"

Phoenix didn't reply for a moment. He only gazed at his Guardian in admiration. Then he flew up and leaned his shell against Jayesh's forehead. "I really do have the best Guardian."

Jayesh smiled and stroked Phoenix's shell. "Why, because I have compassion on people?"

"Because your spark sings the song of the Traveler's heart," Phoenix whispered. "The Darkness has touched the Last City, spawning sickness and despair. But you and I ... we can be a light in that Darkness."

They sat there for a long moment. Jayesh didn't know what to say, or even if he wanted to. But despite being tired, his ghost's adoration left him peaceful and contented. He was doing the right thing.


	2. Thieves

"Have you seen Jayesh lately?" Kari asked her ghost, Neko.

It had been a week, and she hadn't seen him anywhere in the Tower. Kari was coming up for a mission soon, and her fireteam was missing - Madrid on patrol, and Jayesh to who knew where.

It was a bright, cold morning, and the wind in her face in the Tower courtyard was bitter. Kari pulled her robe around her a little tighter. She was a human with short, auburn hair, her fair skin a contrast to Jayesh's dark complexion.

Her ghost, Neko, floated beside her in a royal blue shell with a rampant lion painted across it. He turned in a circle, pinging for Phoenix. "Ah, I see. He's down in the City."

Kari gazed over the railing at the City spread out below them. "What's he doing down there?"

"Phoenix says that he and Jayesh were assigned healing duty at a clinic nearby."

"Oh." Kari leaned on the railing, following the streets with her eyes until she spotted the tiny white roof of the clinic. "I've been assigned there before, but not since the war. I'll bet it's really bad. When's his time up?"

Neko sent this question to Jayesh's ghost. As he received a response, his shell drew down in a frown. "His assignment ended yesterday."

"Yesterday? What's he doing, then?"

"He's currently arguing with the head of the water and sewer department for this district."

Baffled, Kari stared at Neko. "You're kidding. Jayesh is? The guy who had nightmares for months about being Taken?"

"Kari," Neko said, "I have nightmares about that, too. And losing you to the Hive. And of Darkness devouring the Traveler. Don't judge people by their fears."

"I'm sorry." Kari drew Neko close in her fingertips and kissed his cold shell. "That was wrong. I'm just ... surprised that Jayesh would do that."

Neko decided he liked being so close to his Guardian and snuggled into the scarf around her neck. "Jayesh is stronger than you give him credit for. If you want to find him, Phoenix gave me coordinates."

Kari smiled. "Let's play fly on the wall and see what they're up to. I love seeing Jayesh take charge."

"I think you just love Jayesh, period," Neko said in an undertone.

Pink appeared in Kari's cheeks that had nothing to do with the wind. "Quiet, you."

* * *

The head of the Tower district was a man called Fortride. He was noticeably cleaner than the sick people Jayesh had healed all week. His office was in the Core East district, where more buildings had survived intact.

"We have been working on the sewer and water lines," Fortride said, smiling in a shifty way Jayesh didn't like. "You have to understand, the Tower district was one of those hit hardest in the war. The lines are buried under rubble in many places. My hands are tied, see, until the cleanup crews make it here."

A map hung on the wall of his office. It showed a layout of the city with water and sewer lines marked in red and blue. Three breaks had been flagged in the Tower district.

Jayesh pointed at them. "These are the major breaks?"

Fortride nodded. "Mostly bomb craters that cracked the streets."

Jayesh produced Phoenix, who flew to the map and scanned the flags. Fortride watched the ghost, shifting his weight uneasily.

Phoenix spun to gaze narrowly at Fortride. "All of these streets have been cleared of rubble. I saw it in the Tower records."

Jayesh gazed first at his ghost, then Fortride, and smiled. "In that case, the lines should be accessible."

"I don't have the funding," Fortride stammered. He backed away a step from the Guardian and his knowledgeable ghost. "And it's so hard to find the earth moving equipment. The Red Legion captured our reserve fuel stations, you know."

"I know," Jayesh said. "I understand how hard it is. I wish I could offer you extra glimmer."

"Extra glimmer would help," Fortride muttered, hunching his shoulders. "Precious little of it flowing my way these days."

Jayesh pointed to a secondary line that connected from the north. "How's this one doing?"

Fortride traced it with a forefinger. "Sewer and water both undamaged as far as this station. We closed the valve here to keep the contaminated water from flowing any further. The broken line is shut off between this station and this one, about four miles down."

Jayesh studied the station's location. "Would it be possible to dispense clean water from this location to customers affected by the contaminated line?"

"Yes," Fortride said grudgingly. "I suppose we could borrow hoses from the fire department. That might stretch it a few blocks."

They talked about methods of extending the water's reach to people who needed it. Fortride slowly brightened at the idea of a cheap, easy solution, even if it was only temporary. When Jayesh left, Fortride was calling up the foreman at the pumping station.

As Jayesh stepped out into the snowy street, he found Kari leaning against the wall beside the door.

"Hey there," he said, grinning and shaking her hand. "What're you doing here?"

"Trying to find you," she replied. "Did you seriously persuade Fortride to get off his lazy ass?"

"I hope so," Jayesh replied. "Let's go, I have one more stop before dark."

The warlocks fell into step, making their way down the slippery, slushy street. Not many vehicles moved - the price of fuel had reached astronomical levels since the war. Most people moved about on foot. Even in this nicer part of town, people still clustered in small groups in doorways or under porches, wherever there was shelter.

Jayesh told Kari about how bad off the Tower district had become. "And there's other areas hit just as hard. We need a crack squad of warlock healers in all the clinics and hospitals. Meanwhile, the infrastructure is shot. It'll cost millions of glimmer to repair."

"If we can get it," Kari said. "I was reading about the power plants as I was waiting-"

"Eavesdropping," her ghost corrected.

Kari shooed him away, and he phased.

"-and there's a reason there's no power. One plant took a direct hit from a Red Legion bomb. They're saying it'll take eight years to rebuild. The other plant is functional, but it's a clean plant that uses glimmer as a power source. The power company has been pouring glimmer into it, but they can only power about half the grid. That's not counting all the areas with damaged lines."

"No power means no heat," Jayesh muttered, glancing at the clear, cold sky overhead. "People are going to die by the thousands this winter." He summoned a tiny flame to his fingertips and gazed at it. "All I can think of is to haul wood from the forests and tell everyone to build fires. Can ghosts transmat trees?"

Phoenix popped into sight. "We can transmat anything, Jay."

"Without cutting them down?"

Phoenix squinted. "That might be tricky."

Kari nodded. "Cut down or not, that'll be a job for the Hunters and Titans. They'll just _love_ working together, but it's the only way."

Jayesh turned a corner and headed down the street toward a space where several buildings had once stood. They had been demolished and the rubble cleared. In their place stood a row of prefabricated houses, little more than garden sheds. But people moved in and out, children played in the snow, and smoke from charcoal fires scented the air. There was also a distinct smell of outhouse.

"At least they have walls," Jayesh remarked.

A girl of about twelve years ran up to them. She wore adult clothes that were too big for her, and she studied them with a directness that seemed too old for her years. "Are you Guardians?"

"Yes we are," Jayesh said. "I'm Jayesh and this is Kari. We're warlocks."

"I can tell by your robes," the girl said. "I'm Panther."

"Panther?" Kari said, raising an eyebrow.

The girl rolled her eyes. "Samantha, but Panther is my nickname. Do you do healing magic?"

"Yes," Jayesh said. "And it's not magic, it's Light. From up there." He pointed at the Traveler, floating among its own swirling debris field.

Panther glanced at it, unimpressed. "All the little kids are coughing. There's no medicine and it's hard to find warlocks. Could you heal them?"

"Lead the way," Jayesh said. "And tell anybody else who is sick to come, too."

This began an impromptu healing of the entire little neighborhood. As people gathered around, taking turns cramming into the circle, Jayesh asked questions. How do you stay warm? Is there enough to eat? Is the water clean? Are there dangerous gangs or looters?

As it turned out, this particular shanty town was fairly well off, if a little hungry. They had water and basic outhouses, but aside from a little charcoal for cooking, there was no heat. But they pointed him toward shelters with much poorer conditions, less food, no water, and nobody well enough to dig latrines. Jayesh promised to visit them the following morning.

As the warlocks finished healing everyone and left the neighborhood, Panther followed them to the road. "Will you come back?"

"I hope so," Jayesh said. "There's so many people to help, and there's so few of us."

"You lost your Light for a while," Panther said, gazing at each of them closely. "So now Guardians know what it's like to be human."

Jayesh didn't answer. But Kari said, "Yes, and that's why we want to help. We know how you feel."

"I lost my whole family in the war," Panther said. "I live on the edges now. Lots of kids like me. War orphans. Think about us as you help people, huh?"

Kari nodded, gazing at the brave, lonely girl. "Panther, I'll speak to the Vanguard. We'll find you a family."

Panther smiled. "Thanks."

Jayesh and Kari began the long hike back to the Tower. The sun was setting, and the buildings cast long blue shadows across the streets. A few street lights struggled to life, but those quickly gave out as they entered the Tower district.

"I never did," Jayesh said in a low voice.

"What?"

"Lost my Light."

Kari studied his downcast face. Jayesh looked horribly guilty. "Oh, that's right. You were inside the cage with the Traveler, weren't you?"

"I'm the only Guardian who didn't," Jayesh said. "Not that it did me much good - I couldn't fight or save anyone. I just ... sat there and argued with the Traveler. But I was never cut off. Like you were."

"It wasn't so bad," Kari said with a smile. "Guns still work without Light, you know. Besides, the other Guardians and I waged psychological warfare to convince the Cabal that our city is haunted. We had entire squadrons terrified to enter the Crucible arenas in the Core district. We never fired a shot until Zavala busted in."

"Still." Jayesh glanced at the sky. "Can I really sympathize with human beings if I don't remember being human?"

Kari laid a hand on his shoulder. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Jay. Nobody has to know, for one thing. And you've already helped so many people. Your heart's in the right place, and that's all that matters."

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Then Jayesh said softly, "Thanks."

They were in the middle of the Tower district, surrounded by indistinct piles of rubble with a thin road cleared between them, when a submachine gun chattered to their right, shockingly loud in the stillness. Kari gasped and doubled over.

Jayesh was only carrying his sidearm, Drang, concealed beneath his robe. He whipped it out and fired at the spot where the sound and muzzle flash had come from.

Someone scrambled into cover in the rubble, but in the near-darkness, Jayesh couldn't tell where they were.

"I don't think they expected us to shoot back," he muttered, gripping his pistol in both hands.

Another gunshot - this time the heavy thud of a large caliber rifle. Jayesh took a bullet in the left side. He grunted and sank to one knee, the pain washing through him in a scalding wave. But he was still able to squeeze the trigger, sending enough bullets at their attacker to force him to duck out of sight.

Beside him, Kari straightened, drawing a deep breath as her ghost healed her. "Right." She held up both hands. "Pulse rifle, Neko."

The weapon shimmered into being in her hands as Neko transmatted it from the weapons rack in her dorm in the Tower. The sparkle of blue Light illuminated the street like a flash of lightning.

A voice yelled from the rubble, "Shit, they're Guardians!"

"Thieves," Jayesh muttered through his teeth. As his ghost healed him, he stood up and holstered Drang. "Right. Let's shed some light on this." He drew on his Light and his entire body burst into flame. A fiery sword materialized in his hand, and golden wings spread from his back. He leaped an impossible twenty feet in the air, illuminating the wrecked building where the thieves had been waiting in ambush. Three men in black clothes were scrambling for cover inside the walls of a roofless building.

Jayesh plunged to the floor inside the building, blocking the doorway. One man fled the other way, but the other two had already jumped down inside, and the walls were ten feet high.

"Surrender," Jayesh commanded, brandishing his sword. His Light illuminated the ruined room like a searchlight. "Don't make me use this on you."

One man slowly raised his hands. The other shoved his companion aside, lifted his rifle, and fired at Jayesh from the hip.

A bullet scored through Jayesh's shin. He caught himself against the doorframe as his leg gave way. He slashed at the man with his sword, sending a blast of fire into the man's face. The man whirled sideways, took the blast on the right side of his body, and screamed as his clothes and skin burned away instantly.

Jayesh's fire faded and his ghost healed his leg. He drew his pistol and approached the two men, covering them.

The man with his hands up whimpered and shrank against the wall. "You killed him. You just burned him to death."

"Not quite," Jayesh said, inspecting the quivering lump of humanity before him. He pulled the rifle away from the man and tucked it under one arm. Then he dropped a healing rift.

Blue light shimmered across the floor. The burned thug cried out as the Light touched him, healing his wounds. He stared up at Jayesh in stark terror.

"I can kill you or I can heal you," Jayesh said. "I hate to think of how many innocent people your gang has murdered. You're coming back to the Tower with me. Understand?"

Both thugs nodded violently.

Jayesh smiled. "Good. Hand over your weapons."

A few minutes later, the thugs emerged back into the street, hands on their heads. Jayesh followed with a pistol in one hand, a rifle under his other arm, and two long knives stuck through his belt.

Kari met him with the third thug. She had tied his hands behind his back with her belt. The thug's face was blackened and his hair stood on end. Kari's power was lightning.

"Oh, you actually healed yours," she said, as Jayesh approached with his prisoners. "This one had a little shock that he won't forget any time soon."

"Come on," Jayesh said. "We'll let them stand trial before the Vanguard. Might be a good warning to their friends."

"We don't have any friends," babbled the one he had burned. "It's just us. We only do this to feed our families. Our kids are starving. Don't you care about starving kids, Guardians?"

"Sure," Jayesh said, prodding him in the back with his rifle. "Tell the Vanguard, not me."

The three thugs poured out sob stories all the way to the Tower, contradicting each other and themselves. Jayesh had never been so glad to see the Tower guards standing at the ground level entrance. They took charge of the prisoners, handcuffed them, and locked them in the guard house's tiny holding cell.

Jayesh and Kari told the guards what had happened. The guards, fellow Guardians, barely contained their savage satisfaction.

"With vermin like this preying on our people," one said, "no wonder our city is struggling. Good work, warlocks."

Jayesh and Kari rode the lift upstairs in silence. As they emerged in the chilly Tower courtyard, Jayesh took two steps sideways and folded onto a crate against the wall. He wrapped his arms around his knees and rested his forehead against them.

Kari followed him, concerned. "Jay? Are you all right?"

Their ghosts phased into being, too, studying him.

"I burned him," Jayesh muttered.

Kari had to sit beside him to hear. "You what?"

"I burned that man," Jayesh said. "The short one. With my Dawnblade. Third degree over half his body."

"But you healed him," Kari pointed out. "Why'd you burn him, anyway?"

"He shot Jay's leg," Phoenix said indignantly, his blue eye glowing in the darkness. "Jayesh told him to surrender and he fought, instead. The idiot."

Jayesh turned his head and stared miserably at Kari. "I've never used my Light against a human before. I could have killed him. I don't think I ... I can't relate to humans."

Kari put an arm around his shoulders. "Well, I lost my Light, and I can't relate to scum who hunt their fellow humans to steal what little food or glimmer they have. You didn't kill him, and you probably should have."

Jayesh gazed past her for a long moment. "I don't want to be a killer. I'll fight aliens, but ... not my own people. Not humans."

"Sometimes," Kari said, "you have to kill in order to protect."

They sat there a few minutes longer, until the frosty night drove them indoors. Kari went to the mess hall for one of their last, un-rationed meals. But Jayesh went to his room, heated a frozen dinner, and ate at his desk. He didn't even turn his computer on - just ate in silence, staring at a black screen.

Phoenix floated beside him, waiting for his Guardian to be ready to talk.

But Jayesh didn't. He finished his dinner, undressed, and crawled into his bunk. He beckoned to Phoenix. The ghost flew to him. Jayesh clasped the little robot under his chin like a child with a favorite stuffed animal, curled up under the covers, and fell asleep that way.

Phoenix didn't mind at all.


	3. The long struggle

The next day, Jayesh and Kari attended a meeting with the Vanguard commanders.

They met in a disused storage room lower in the city's wall. It had a window that overlooked the City, and someone had found a folding table and chairs for it. It made a tolerable conference room.

Zavala, Cayde-6, and Ikora sat around the far end of the table. Ikora gestured to the chairs beside her, so they took their seats there. To their surprise, the door opened again, and Madrid the hunter entered. He sat beside Cayde-6 and leaned back in his chair, arms folded. He was an Awoken with blue skin and glowing yellow eyes, and he'd been friends with Kari for years. He was the third member of their fireteam.

Zavala folded his hands on the table and leaned forward, gazing around at them. As not only Titan Vanguard, but Vanguard Commander, as well, he was already the most imposing person in the room. He had a strong, angular face, blue skin, and no hair to speak of. Jayesh was still a little afraid of him, after dropping out of the Titan discipline.

"Welcome, Guardians," Zavala said. "I think the three of you have very interesting reports for us."

"Yes, unfortunately," Kari said. She glanced at Jayesh, but he gazed at the table. He'd barely spoken on the way here, and she was worried about him. Or rather, what he might blurt out in front of the Vanguard leadership.

Madrid nodded once and sat up. "Mind if I go first?"

Zavala gestured for him to speak.

Madrid launched into a riveting story of a lone Cabal hunter with a pack of war beasts who had been picking off isolated Guardians. As he spoke, his ghost, Rose, phased into sight above his left shoulder. She had exchanged her flower-shaped shell for one made of twisted wire. She looked like a giant necklace pendant. Kari stared at her in admiration.

When Madrid mentioned allowing Rose to use a rocket launcher, every ghost in the room phased into view and studied Rose enviously. She gazed back, unperturbed.

As Madrid concluded his story, Cayde-6 raised a fist and held it out. Madrid bumped fists with his commander.

"I don't have to say how awesome that was," Cayde remarked. "Hunters are always awesome."

Madrid folded his arms again and lapsed into silence.

Zavala steepled his fingers. "Very interesting. The Cabal continue to harass us, even after withdrawing most of their troops. We must remain vigilant." He turned to Kari and Jayesh. "And now, you two. Jayesh, I understand Ikora assigned you healing duty at the clinic."

"Yes sir," Jayesh said, looking up.

Zavala nodded. "Tell us about that."

"Sir," Jayesh said slowly, "there's a plague beginning. They call it War Lung. Most people in the clinic had it. Everywhere I went, people had the same cough. I healed nonstop for a week, and I barely scratched the surface. They say the hospitals are even worse off." He looked at Ikora. "Please, ma'am, we need warlocks at every hospital and clinic in the City."

Ikora exchanged glances with Zavala. "Jayesh ... we're stretched thin right now. Between the Vex resurgence on Mercury, and defending Rasputin on Mars, we don't have a lot of Guardians to spare. We lost so many in the Red War."

Jayesh looked down.

Kari cleared her throat. "We could still rotate assignments. Besides, the City infrastructure is bad off." She told them about the power and water situations. She also detailed Jayesh's plan to transmat trees from the nearby forests so people could cook and keep warm. "You know what our winters are like. Last year it never went above freezing for four months straight."

"Not to mention," Cayde chimed in, "the food situation. My hunters have been hauling in moose, elk, and deer. All of that's going into the ration warehouses. Right now, we could feed maybe one district for a month. The Legion pillaged our food stores, wrecked the greenhouses, and bombed out the yeast vats. Zavala, we are so screwed."

Zavala frowned, tapping his forefingers against his lips. "What do you suggest?"

Cayde shrugged. "I want to send my hunters south. Africa, South America, places where they used to grow food. Scout around. See what's out there."

Madrid straightened, brightening.

"Many of those areas are still radioactive from the nuclear strikes during the Collapse," Zavala replied. "If you want to explore, certainly, go ahead. But the ghosts must be equipped with shells to detect radiation."

"Will do," Cayde replied.

Madrid nodded, too, and glanced at his ghost, apparently already planning a new shell for her.

Zavala turned to Ikora. "What about this plague?"

She sighed and rubbed her temples. Ikora's skin was darker than Jayesh's, with a different facial structure speaking of vastly different ancestors. "Jayesh is right. I'm getting reports of War Lung from all over the City. I may have to reduce my warlocks at the front to a skeleton crew and assign the rest to healing."

"My Titans will hold the line, then," Zavala said. "We will endure. In the meantime, I'll send my most trustworthy Titans to find men of the City with knowledge of cutting timber. We failed our people in the Red War. We will not fail them now." He gave Kari and Jayesh a keen look. "No mention of the thieves you apprehended?"

Jayesh shrugged.

Kari said, "They attacked us in the dark, sir. If we hadn't been Guardians, we'd be dead. I imagine that sort of behavior will become more and more common."

Zavala growled. "I'll have a word with the police forces. If need be, my Titans can double as peacekeepers."

"My Hunters, too," Cayde added. "We're good at sneaking and watching."

Jayesh looked at Zavala, his face gone yellowish. "Commander, sir, I have a question."

"Yes?"

Kari braced herself. Jayesh was about to be Jayesh.

"Is it right to use our Light against non-Guardians?" Jayesh explained about burning one of the thieves nearly to death, then healing him.

Zavala, Cayde, and Ikora exchanged glances, unsettled.

Zavala focused on Jayesh. "Would it have been any different if you had emptied a pistol magazine into the fellow, instead?"

Jayesh opened his mouth, frowned, and closed it again.

"The Light acts as a weapon," Zavala said. "It is adept at destroying our enemies. Any human being seeking to rob and murder his neighbors has become our enemy. However, if you find it preferable to mete out justice with a bullet, that's your choice."

There was a short pause. Then Jayesh said, "Sir, if I'm going to spend the winter as a healer ... I can't use my Light in combat, too."

"Fair enough," Zavala said. "Carry weapons."

Ikora gazed at Jayesh thoughtfully and said nothing.

The three Guardians were dismissed shortly afterward. Kari immediately asked Madrid for more details of his ill-fated hunt. Somewhere between trained war beasts and brave ghosts, Jayesh slipped away.

Kari found him later, sitting on the wall's parapet near Ikora's office, gazing across the Last City. His ghost floated beside him, and they were speaking quietly as Kari approached.

"It doesn't have to be that way," Phoenix was saying. "Warlocks are able to harness Light for both damage and healing."

"But shouldn't it be one or the other?" Jayesh said. "Why do warlocks have to deal with this? Hunters and Titans only use Light for offense."

Kari leaned her elbows on the parapet beside Jayesh. "Still angsting about that?"

He gave her a quick, sheepish smile. "Kind of, yeah."

She opened both hands. "I suggest reading the compendiums of Warlock writings. People have been grappling with this since the first Guardian opened their eyes. Lots of deep philosophy out there."

Jayesh's eyes lit up. "That's a great idea. It helps to remember I'm not alone."

She laid her hand on top of his on the stone wall. "You're not."

Jayesh glanced at her, then at their hands. He turned his hand over and clasped hers. Neither of them said anything, but they sat there like that for a while, the frost-scented wind in their faces, the city spread out below.

"Hello, Guardians."

Kari and Jayesh straightened and turned, startled, hastily releasing their handhold. Ikora stood behind them, smiling, her violet robe billowing in the breeze. "Come into my office. I'd like to speak to both of you."

Jayesh hopped down from the parapet, and he and Kari followed their Warlock Vanguard indoors. "Now you've done it," Kari whispered. "I saw her watching you in the meeting."

"I asked a question," Jayesh whispered back. "It's not a crime."

Ikora's office was across the courtyard from where it had been in warmer days. It still had the same tables and warlock instruments, the same piles of salvaged books. But now it was inside a rather warm room with a narrow window overlooking the City. It smelled of incense.

Ikora clasped her hands behind her back and faced them. "Kari, I know you were slated for a mission next week. However, if you agree, I'd like to pull you off that and place you on a mercy team."

"A mercy team?" Kari said, exchanging glances with Jayesh.

"Yes," Ikora replied. "As Jayesh has pointed out, a plague is beginning among our citizens. I must spend time reworking my schedules, but I'm certain that I can begin a rotation with half the warlocks working combat on the front lines and half working healing in the City. Jayesh, I assume you've already volunteered."

"Of course," he said, his face lighting up. "May I serve in a hospital?"

"You will be divided into rotating shifts," Ikora said. "I'll get back to you tomorrow with the schedule for next week. I have several warlocks headed back from various planets, and they'll be assigned to your teams. A week of healing is all a warlock can do, so I'll assign you five days on and two days off, for recovery. Does that sound fair?"

Kari and Jayesh agreed that it did.

"Good," said Ikora. "Now, both of you are dismissed. I suggest you rest and gather your strength. Once we begin this marathon, it won't stop until spring or summer of next year."

Kari gazed out the window at the buildings, thinking of bandits in the dark, and an orphan called Panther. "Yes ma'am. We won't let you down."

* * *

Thus began a concerted effort by the Vanguard, with cooperation from the Consensus, to save the Last City from starvation and death.

The warlocks began working at hospitals and clinics, shifting from district to district each week to reach the greatest amount of people. The amount of War Lung cases dropped, but the virus did not vanish. They would conquer it in one district, only to meet a severe outbreak in the next.

Hunters and Titans were assigned to assist local law enforcement in eliminating thieves and killers. When word got around that Guardians were loose on the streets at night, the crime rate declined.

Squads of men accompanied by Guardians went to the forests to cut timber. Their ghosts transmatted it back to the City, where a makeshift lumber yard was constructed to cut the logs into planks, firewood, and later on, compress waste shavings into particle board. Under Zavala's watchful eye, the Tower district was cleared and rebuilt in record time. All concrete and metal was hauled to the south end of the City where Reclamation recycled the concrete and recast the metal. Once the Tower district was functioning, the teams moved on to Core Northwest, which was nearly as bad.

In the meantime, Hunters were dispatched into the wild to drill for glimmer and to scout food sources. They'd be gone for weeks at a time, only to show up with a cargo bay filled with strange fruits or vegetables their ghosts had pronounced edible. Many foods were rediscovered at this time, including citrus and bananas. The maps of the Southern Hemisphere began to fill with flagged radioactive zones, and the safe areas around them.

Winter closed in with blizzards and bitter cold. The Vanguard kept grimly working, telling each other that it wasn't as cold as Mars. But Mars lacked humidity, and wet air was the coldest. People died of cold and malnourishment. Often a hospital unattended by warlocks that week would have a fifty percent mortality rate.

The remaining power plant began to rotate power through the grid on a schedule. Some days a neighborhood would have power, and some days they wouldn't. People began to plan their lives around when the power would be back on.

Kari and Jayesh didn't see each other for most of November and December. Sometimes they'd wave to each other in the Tower ration line at breakfast, but that was all the contact they had.

Jayesh healed for nine hours a day, five days a week, and sometimes he worked weekends during a severe outbreak. He and Phoenix discovered that if several warlocks pooled their healing rifts, they could maintain them for hours before tiring. This became a new mass healing technique called deep stacking.

The ghosts put their heads together and asked to help, too. While the Guardians worked through a hospital floor by floor, their ghosts entered areas like intensive care or post-surgery and healed the patients there.

Often, when Jayesh crawled into bed at night, he and Phoenix were both too exhausted to say a word. They snuggled together, slept hard, and got up in the morning to do it again.

By January, battle fatigue began to set in. Every Guardian had worked so long and so hard that they were tiring. Rations grew smaller, despite the constant shipments of strange new food. There wasn't enough protein or fat, and the Guardians in particular needed it badly. Warlocks had a harder time healing. Hunters slowed in their patrols. Titans accomplished less.

As the cold deepened, the War Lung epidemic persisted, growing worse. People had to be healed over and over again. Jayesh began to feel that he was on a treadmill, moving forward only to stay in place. He studied fiercely in his brief down time, reading warlock lore, how to extend the healing rift without exhausting the Guardian.

And he missed Kari. He denied it to himself, tried to ignore it. But somewhere inside him was a vacant spot that only went away when she smiled. She was around, of course - he'd see her in the early mornings in the Tower. But they were assigned different shifts and never had time to talk. He tried to see her on weekends, which sometimes worked out. But they were both so tired, mostly they sat in Kari's apartment and watched videos.

One gray, bitter Saturday in February, Kari invited Jayesh over. Jayesh agreed, but five minutes into the first movie, Kari curled up on the sofa beside him and fell asleep.

Jayesh pulled a folded blanket off the back of the sofa and tucked it around her. Ten minutes later, he was asleep sitting up with her feet in his lap.

"Look at them," Phoenix said to Neko on the private link all ghosts shared. "Our Guardians are too exhausted to function."

"They're working themselves to death," Neko agreed. "I expect we'll be resurrecting them by March."

"At least we can," Phoenix said, gazing at Jayesh with a brooding expression. "So many people are dying, even with everything we do. I've tried to resurrect them. But I can't. The spark doesn't persist."

"I've tried, too," Neko replied, hovering protectively over Kari. "Sometimes I can catch a dying person before their spark completely fades, but that's not really resurrection because they weren't really dead."

"I was hoping we could convince our Guardians to date," Phoenix said. "Then all this happened. They're too tired to talk, let alone get romantic. Jay has been pining for Kari, though. He won't talk about it, but I feel it. It's like being homesick for a person."

"Kari's the same," Neko replied. "But ... worse, in a way. Because of Rem and Trina."

Phoenix looked up. "Her husband and his ghost?"

Neko nodded sadly. "It's been twenty-five - no - twenty-six years now since they died. Nobody remembers them anymore, except us."

"They were killed by the Hive, right?"

Neko gazed at Kari for a long moment. "We were hand-picked by the Vanguard as one of the top fire teams to enter the Dreadnaught. Kari led one team, Rem led the other. He was a confident, charismatic Titan. Guardians would follow him anywhere. Pretty much the opposite of Jayesh."

Phoenix bristled. "Jayesh is becoming a good leader."

"I never said he wasn't," Neko said. "Jayesh leads by kindness and persuasion, whereas Rem led by force of personality. He was a lot like Shaxx in that way."

Phoenix nodded, and Neko continued, sounding mournful. "Rem's team took point. The inside of the Dreadnaught is about as awful as you'd expect, being a Hive ship where they've bred for ten thousand years. Lots of wormy slime and organic pillars and things. Kari's team got sidetracked, fighting an ogre, while Rem's team moved deeper in. After a while, we lost contact."

Neko paused, his eye-light dimming. "We went looking for them ... picked up garbled transmissions. They were screaming. Begging for mercy." His voice cracked and he drooped a little.

Phoenix flew to his brother ghost and leaned his shell against him for comfort.

Neko went on, a little steadier. "We began coming across those Hive crystals where they store energy. But these were filled with void Light. We couldn't figure out where the Hive had come by Light."

"Oh no," Phoenix whispered.

"Yes," Neko said. "They had harvested the entire fireteam. We found their bodies ... and their ghosts had been cracked open like eggshells. Poor Rem. Poor Trina."

Phoenix shuddered. "I hope you avenged them."

"We did," Neko said. "We came back later with a bigger team and slaughtered the Hive god Oryx. But Kari changed. Up to that point, she had used Void Light as her fighting style, learned from Ikora and Osiris. But seeing those crystals ... and knowing that had been Rem ... she switched to Stormcaller and began using lightning instead. It's what she's used for the last twenty-six years. It's funny, but that's one thing she likes about Jayesh - that he's a Dawnblade. None of that Void Light to remind her."

Neko fell silent, gazing at their sleeping Guardians. Phoenix floated beside him, processing the story. "I'm so sorry, Neko."

Neko closed his eye and opened it again. "We still miss them. We've spent many nights wondering if their sparks made it back to the Traveler, or if they were consumed by the Hive. Not knowing is what's so awful. I wish I'd asked when I went to the Traveler for her."

"I think," Phoenix said slowly, "and don't quote me, but I think the Hive pours off the spark when they take the Light. It's the Taken who consume the spark. The Traveler told Jayesh it didn't know if it could retrieve a spark from the Darkness itself. The Hive serve the Darkness, but what they do is different."

"That makes me feel a little better," Neko said quietly. "It was such a horrible, unfair death. It took away our hope, and that makes the grief so much worse."

The two ghosts floated in silence, watching over their Guardians.

"If ... if they do get together," Phoenix said hesitantly, "marry, I mean, do you think it would work out? Jayesh isn't Rem."

"Kari doesn't want him to be," Neko replied. "She's fallen for Jay the way he is. He's like a soft, fluffy pillow with an iron bar in the middle. Easy to underestimate, but with inner strength that doesn't quit. I mean, he found a way to heal you. Most Guardians don't do that."

"He did," Phoenix said, remembering fondly. "I came back to life in flames. It's why he changed my name to Phoenix." He gazed at Jayesh and made a sound like a sigh. "He's admired Kari since they met, but he's also ... well, he considers her out of his league. He wants to stay friends because he's so aware she lost her first husband. He doesn't want to hurt her any more."

Neko groaned. "That's so Jayesh. He even underestimates himself."

"Yes," Phoenix said. "He's coming up on his first resurrection day as a Guardian. One, single year, Neko. He's still learning how the world works, and he's acutely aware of how much he doesn't know. He doesn't have the confidence to court a woman. I think he was single in his past life, too. He died so young."

"Guardians," Neko observed. "They break our hearts over and over." He flew down and landed, ever so gently, on Kari's blanket. "And sometimes, we break theirs."

Phoenix remained floating beside Jayesh's shoulder. "It's true. For now, let them sleep. It's still so long until spring."


	4. Invasion

In March, the Fallen invaded.

The Hunters had noticed Fallen scouts watching them cut timber and gathering food since January. They killed as many of the aliens as they could, but apparently enough scouts escaped to report on the City's weakness.

The night of a dreary snowstorm that heaped more discouragement on a city hoping for warm weather, the Fallen crept in. They couldn't breach the City walls, but there was plenty of equipment and machinery outside the walls under tarps, where the men working could access them easily. Being scavengers, the Fallen worked all night to disassemble tractors, carry away power tools, and collect liquid fuel from the engines.

When the Guardians and humans went to work that morning, everything was ruined or gone.

The Vanguard, already tired of dealing with problem upon problem, sent out a tracking party to retrieve the stolen supplies. They met a small army of the spider-like aliens who ambushed them and managed to kill every single Guardian several times. The Guardians managed to drive the Fallen off, but they didn't kill as many as usual -  perhaps due to exhaustion and a lack of food.

The Fallen sensed weakness. Within a week they were back, crawling up the outside of the City walls and nailing handholds into the concrete. These would allow them to scale the walls and infiltrate the City itself.

By the time the weary Guardians discovered this, the Fallen had sent scouts to the top of the wall. They learned the power plant's schedule, and kept to lightless areas without electricity.

Jayesh was working that evening in a clinic near the City's wall when a savage fight broke out nearly overhead. Arc bolts sailed across the sky and plunged sizzling into snowdrifts and roofs. People screamed and dashed for cover. Nearby Guardians left their posts and ran for the walls.

Jayesh and two other warlocks were maintaining three stacked rifts. Sick children were packed into the glowing circle in rows, and one of the doctors had been singing them a song. But at the noise of fighting, she fell silent and hurried out. The children huddled together. "What's happening? Is the Red Legion back?"

All three warlocks, suddenly alert and tense, consulted their ghosts.

Phoenix reported in Jayesh's head, "Fighting on the wall. Fallen managed to climb up from the outside. Looks like a scouting party."

Jayesh allowed himself the luxury of swearing inside his head, where the children wouldn't hear. Then he forced a smile. "Don't worry, kids. It's just a couple of Fallen bothering the Titans on the wall."

The children relaxed a little, but they continued to stare from Guardian to Guardian for reassurance.

"Distract the children," Phoenix whispered in Jayesh's head. "It's a nasty fight."

During his studies of Warlock writings, Jayesh had discovered a list of completely useless things that Guardians had learned to do with Light. At the time, he had thought them irreverent and silly. But maybe they had a purpose, after all.

"Watch me," he commanded. "Guess what I'm doing." He sketched a fishing pole in midair with glowing blue Light trailing from his fingertips. The shape hung in midair, just solid enough for him to touch. He pretended to cast a line over the heads of the group, then he flicked his fingers and a fish appeared, apparently dangling from the invisible line.

The children shrieked and laughed in astonishment. "You caught a fish!"

More gunshots echoed from outside. Jayesh's fighting instincts begged him to rush out and strike the enemy before they found their way into the clinic. But no, the other Guardians would handle it.

One of the other warlocks, a burly, jovial Exo named Dean-8, laughed and said, "I can do better than that. Watch this, kiddos." He drew a huge, fake bottle in midair, lifted it, and somehow mimicked pouring liquid Light over his own head. The children shrieked with laughter.

"Amateurs," the third warlock said, a female Awoken named Ildoreth. She opened her hands and threw fireworks over the heads of the crowd, which burst in red, blue, and green, then descended in sparkling clouds. The children reached up to catch them, cheering.

In the hallway outside, a doctor and three of the clinic's staff ran by, muttering in low, panicked voices.

To keep the kids from noticing, Jayesh conjured a row of Light bottles and blasted them away with a Light gun. The children cheered.

Dean pretended to bow to a huge audience, as Light roses appeared and fell at his feet.

Ildoreth summoned a dog made of Light, which frisked around her feet, then fetched a Light bone.

The children watched this show, forgetting everything else. Outside, the fighting fell silent. A nurse passed by outside and looked in, making sure everyone was safe.

In Jayesh's head, Phoenix said, "Invaders are dealt with. They'd drilled pegs into the outside of the wall."

A spasm of anger and fear seized Jayesh's heart. How dare the Fallen attack them now! They'd actually climbed the wall? What had they learned? What had they transmitted back to their comrades in the hills?

Ildoreth's ghost popped into view, making a chiming sound. "Time's up, kids," she said. "Come with me, your parents are in the waiting room."

Many of the children didn't have parents anymore. The Vanguard had persuaded other families to shelter them until proper orphanages could be built. But the Light show, combined with the healing, had cheered them immensely. They ran chattering and shouting down the hall.

Dean-8 and Jayesh immediately summoned their ghosts, dropping all pretense of humor.

"Fallen on the wall," Dean-8 said.

"We can't hold out against another attack," Jayesh muttered. "We'll barely make it to spring."

"Our shift is almost up," Dean said. "They'll tell us more in the Tower."

"Reports are sketchy at the moment," Phoenix said. "Titans are still in pursuit."

"Still?" Dean exclaimed. "I wish I was out there. I'd kick those Fallen bastards right off the edge."

"He would, too," Dean's ghost remarked.

Dean suddenly grinned - as well as an Exo could - and clapped a hand on Jayesh's shoulder. "Great idea with the Light constructs. I haven't done those in years."

"Thanks," Jayesh said, grinning. "I had to get their attention and it was all that came to mind."

The three warlocks finished their shift and walked back to the Tower together, keeping an anxious eye on the wall. It was a shadowy shape in the dark, cutting off the horizon. It was impossible to tell if anyone was still up there.

Upon returning to the warm, well-lit Tower, Jayesh asked Phoenix, "Where's Kari?"

"On her way home," Phoenix replied. "She was stationed in the Core district today."

Jayesh lingered by the lift doors. Hunger and weariness dragged at him, but tension kept him there. Aliens had nearly breached the City for the first time since the Red War. Had they been eradicated? What if this was only the first sign of an invasion? What was happening out there?

He loitered there for an hour until Kari and her team stepped out of the lift, all looking strained and tired. She saw Jayesh and smiled.

He relaxed a little, now that she was safely indoors. He fell into step beside her, his hand not quite brushing hers. "Did you see anything out there?"

"No," she said. "We looked and looked, too. What about you?"

"I was at a clinic near the fighting. Had to do Light constructs to keep the kids calm."

Kari laughed. "What a good idea! I'd never have thought of that. Let's get dinner."

They accepted their meager dinner portions in the cafeteria and sat in the far corner of the room to eat. While the room was usually fairly subdued, tonight it was noisy with Guardians exchanging news and consulting ghosts.

"I'm not ready for another war, Jayesh," Kari said, eating one slow bite at a time to make it last. "We healed nine hundred people today. The hospital kept track. Nine. Hundred. And almost all of them had the cough."

Jayesh winced in sympathy. "We only had about half that at the clinic, because that's all that could fit inside. Lots of people waited all day."

"The point is," Kari said, holding up her fork, "we can't stave off another attack. Even a small one. The Battle of Seven Ways nearly finished us off, and that was the last time the Fallen was this brazen. It's where I died. As a human."

She dug her fingers into her hair and leaned her elbow on the table, looking so tired and dejected that Jayesh's heart ached. He reached across the table and patted her free hand. "It's all right, Kari. We'll get through this."

She clasped his hand in silent thanks, then released it. "I don't know if I'll be able to fight, if it comes down to it. Even with your deep stacking technique, I'm so drained by the end of the day. On the monorail back here, we talked about what we'd do if Fallen jumped us. None of us could even produce Light, let alone fight. We'd summon our weapons and hole up somewhere, I guess." She gave Jayesh a searching look. "Can't you ask the Traveler to help us out?"

"Maybe," Jayesh said doubtfully. "It doesn't involve itself in our affairs that closely, though. It gave us Light and ghosts so we could manage things ourselves."

Kari groaned and resumed eating. "What is this?" she asked, poking at a slimy, green, hairy object on her plate.

Jayesh had resolutely eaten his. "The old writings call it okra. It's ... not horrible."

Food was so scarce, they couldn't afford to skip any nourishment. Kari ate the okra, shuddering, and washed it down with an entire glass of water.

For some reason, Jayesh began to laugh. "Look at us, like a couple of kids who don't want to eat our vegetables."

"Most vegetables aren't slimy and hairy at the same time," Kari replied, but she began to chuckle. A moment later the two of them were cracking up, rocking back and forth. Nearby Guardians looked up inquiringly.

Phoenix phased into sight and gravely told them, "Okra is disgusting."

"Darn right it is!" one Guardian agreed, and a minute later, the whole cafeteria was roaring.

As the hilarity subsided, Phoenix told Jayesh, "Exhaustion affects the brain the same way as alcohol consumption."

"That explains so much," Jayesh said, wiping his eyes.

"I know, right?" Kari said. "Jay, are you working this weekend?"

"So far, no," Jayesh replied. "But if we get attacked, that may change."

"Come over, if you get the chance," she said, lifting her empty plate on its tray. "I miss talking."

He watched her carry her tray to the turn-in slot at the counter. "I do, too," he said wistfully.

* * *

 

Later on, Jayesh returned to his tiny room and wearily took off his grimy armor. "Phoenix, is there any chance I could speak to the Traveler tonight?"

"I don't see why not," Phoenix replied. "No promises it'll respond. You know how it is."

Jayesh sat in his desk chair and propped his sock-clad feet on the table. "Phase and rest, Phoenix. You're tired, too."

"Yes, Guardian," the ghost replied, and disappeared in a shimmer of blue.

Jayesh focused on the flicker of Light inside him that connected him to the Traveler. It was small and dim, matching his own weariness. He reached for it, thinking of the Traveler hanging in the sky, empowering its Guardians. In his mind, he walked the vaulting structure inside, the places no human was ever intended to go, watching the Light flow around and through.

The Traveler acknowledged his focus, touching him with extra Light. It was warm, comforting, welcoming.

"Hello, Traveler," Jayesh thought, the way he communicated with his ghost.

"Guardian Jayesh." It was the faintest whisper in his mind. No, not faint - the Traveler was being gentle.

"I'm so tired, Traveler," Jayesh thought, although he hadn't meant to say that at all. "The Last City is starving and dying. Us Guardians are doing everything we can, but we're exhausted. Now the Fallen are attacking us."

The Light within him grew a little brighter, refreshing him like a healing rift.

"It's not just me," Jayesh said. "It's all Guardians. Can't you give them all a little more Light?"

"They must ask," came the Traveler's whisper.

Jayesh relaxed in his chair, closing his eyes, basking in the extra Light. "I'll tell them." He fell silent, nearly dozing off, but shook himself awake again, forcing his eyes open. "Traveler, this War Lung plague. Is it from the Darkness?"

"It bears the influence," the Traveler replied. "Every malignant form of life causing sickness is sourced from the Darkness in some way."

"Can you fight it?"

"Guardian." The Light caressed him like a hug. "That is not my circle. It is yours. I am engaged in the coming struggle. But you possess my strength, yourself. You have drawn upon me to heal and restore, and your portion will continue to grow."

It wasn't the answer Jayesh wanted - he'd been secretly hoping for another explosion of Light that would instantly heal everyone in the city. But it was an answer. He sighed. "Thank you for your graciousness, Traveler."

He shifted from his chair to his bed, the extra Light still warming him from the inside. He pulled the heavy blankets over him and whispered, "Phoenix?"

The ghost appeared and settled in his hands, blinking his blue eye sleepily. Jayesh tucked him under his chin like usual, but sleep didn't come as readily as he expected.

"What'd the Traveler say?" Phoenix murmured.

Jayesh smiled at the wall. "Oh, the usual. It's not going to solve problems I can solve, myself."

"I figured." Phoenix shifted a little, nestling closer. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Jayesh said. "Nothing at all."

Phoenix waited, all sleepiness departing.

"Well, it's Kari," Jayesh finally admitted.

"I thought so," Phoenix muttered smugly.

Jayesh huffed. "Don't be like that. I just want to stay friends, you know that. But tonight, seeing her so tired ... I don't know. I'm the one who had the bright idea to heal people. Now she's exhausted. All the Warlocks are."

"And lots of people are still alive," Phoenix pointed out.

"Yes, they are." Jayesh tried to figure out what he was trying to say. "I guess ... I don't know ... maybe I'd like to be more than just her friend."

Phoenix said nothing, waiting for his Guardian to talk it out.

"I don't know if she'd be interested," Jayesh blurted. "I mean, you and Neko want to set us up, but that doesn't mean Kari wants that."

"Jay," Phoenix said very quietly, "Neko says she does."

Jayesh lay very still, turning this over in his mind. "Well ... I still have to talk to her about it. Second-hand ghost chatter isn't worth much."

"That's generally how relationships work," Phoenix agreed.

Jayesh didn't speak for a while, attacking the problem from multiple angles in his mind. Lots of pitfalls occurred to him at once. "Phoenix, what happened her husband?"

"The Hive killed him," Phoenix said.

"I know that. Details?"

Phoenix hesitated. "It's not a nice bedtime story, Jay."

Jayesh drew a deep breath. "I'd better know now, so I don't go embarrassing myself later."

"If you say so." Phoenix repeated the story Neko had told him.

Afterwards, Jayesh lay rigid in bed, horror crawling through him. Her husband hadn't just been killed - he'd been harvested.

"Now I wish I'd waited until morning," he muttered, checking his room for Hive aliens. The darkness seemed to crawl with them.

"I warned you," Phoenix said.

Jayesh shrank under the blankets and held Phoenix a little tighter. "So Kari went through that ... then the Hive almost got her, too. What in the world does she see in me? She knows how terrified I was of Taken, and those are ... related to the Hive, I guess."

"Um." Phoenix blinked. "I'm pretty sure she likes you for you, not as some kind of shield."

Jayesh tried to fathom this. "Phoenix, I have zero desirable traits. I've barely been alive a year. I still don't understand how the Consensus works."

"Well," Phoenix began.

Jayesh talked over him. "I'm a Titan dropout. Zavala may not hold it against me, but I still couldn't hack it in training. I'm ... a decent combat Warlock, I guess, but I've never set foot in the Crucible. I'll bet I couldn't even qualify for a team."

"But Jay," Phoenix started to argue.

Jayesh interrupted. "I've been getting regular missions, but the mercy teams don't pay as much bounty. I'm still mostly broke, and I ... Phoenix, I'm just too soft. I care too much about people. It makes me a poor soldier. I'm barely boyfriend material, let alone husband material. I'm not a good Guardian."

Phoenix ripped himself out of Jayesh's hands and hovered in front of him, his eye glowing red. "Stop. Shut up. Shut. Up."

Jayesh flinched. He'd never seen Phoenix get this mad before, and in the darkness, his red eye was terrifying.

"Don't you ever run yourself down like that again," his ghost snarled in his face. "I don't care about any of that. Neither does Kari. Your idiot soft heart has saved thousands of lives this winter. You're the only Guardian stupid enough to sneak into the Traveler and argue with it. People respect the hell out of you, and you're too blind to see it. Don't you tell me you're a poor Guardian or so help me I will hit you in the face. And I won't heal the bruise."

Jayesh cowered, the blanket pulled over his nose. His ghost was so furious, he felt an echo of the rage beating in his own heart. He pushed some of his own Light at him and mentally ran for cover.

Phoenix's eye slowly faded back to blue. The fury cooled inside him. He made a sound like a heavy sigh and sank down to rest on the blanket. "Sorry. But after everything we've been through ... to hear you repeating the things they said about you in the news articles ... just ... don't."

Jayesh sat up and gently lifted Phoenix in both hands, gazing into his glowing eye. "I was, wasn't I?"

"You were," Phoenix said. "I died because of those articles. Then you revived me and I watched you die. So what if some of those things are factually true? You're my Guardian, and I know what you're really like. Do you think it's possible that Kari does, too?"

Jayesh cuddled Phoenix in silence for a moment. "I'm sorry."

"Word of advice," Phoenix replied. "Don't tell Kari what a loser you think you are. She _will_ punch you in the face. With lightning."

Jayesh smiled and winced at the same time. "Once was enough, thanks."

He lay down again with Phoenix in the crook of his arm. He dozed off a little later, but Phoenix remained awake, gazing into the night and trying to calm his own fiery emotions. Nobody dissed his Guardian - not even his Guardian.


	5. Hypothetical question

By the next morning, the Fallen had vanished entirely. But wall patrols were increased, the guards watchful and edgy.

Kari went to work with her assigned team at the hospital in the Core district again. On the monorail ride in, all the warlocks talked about was speculation about the Fallen, what they must have learned, and what their future plans must be.

Kari tried not to miss Jayesh. But as her team stacked their healing rifts and began healing patients, it reminded her of him. Each new floor they worked through made her think of him and how he had asked for warlocks to be assigned to the hospitals. He was so thoughtful, so amazingly far sighted. His inner Light was so bright, it made him a magnet to everyone around him. Ikora gave him anything he wanted, and he had no idea.

The warlocks took a short break at noon to rest and eat whatever food they'd brought with them. Kari had stuffed leftover tofu into a wilted cabbage leaf and told herself it was tasty. As she ate, she thought to her ghost, "Maybe I'm kidding myself, Neko. Jayesh holds my hand sometimes, but beyond that, he's never shown a spark of interest in me. I'm solidly in the friends zone."

"Phoenix says Jayesh likes you a lot," Neko said. "But he's also in awe of you."

"Awe of me?" Kari thought blankly. "Why?"

"I don't know. That's what Phoenix said."

Kari went back to maintaining healing rifts, pondering this. What was there about her to be in awe of? She was a middle-of-the-road Guardian. She went where she was sent, killed what she was ordered to, and used the weapons and glimmer she was awarded or assigned. It had never occurred to her to sneak aboard the Traveler or work mass healing for the City's population. It never crossed her mind to agonize over using Light to strike down an enemy.

Jayesh continually fascinated her.

As night set in at the end of the short day, the warlocks finished their work and boarded the monorail, weary to the bone. Kari collapsed into a seat and closed her eyes, hoping to doze on the thirty-minute ride back to Tower North.

"No sign of Fallen," Neko reported. "Guard patrols have been doubled."

She nodded. The sky outside was bright with stars and a half moon above the scattered city lights. It would freeze hard.

"I hope everyone has a place to sleep tonight," she thought. "Someplace warm."

"Core Northwest is ninety percent rebuilt," Neko reported. "Core West is entirely gone. It's nothing but blast craters. The Vanguard doesn't know what to do with it. They're moving their rebuilding efforts to Core Southwest, where damage isn't as severe."

"Traveler have mercy," Kari breathed. "All those lives lost."

She secretly hoped that Jayesh would be waiting for her at the lift again. But he wasn't. Trying not to feel disappointed, she went to her apartment, changed out of her hospital-grimed robes, and went to the cafeteria.

Jayesh had secured the corner table again. An empty bowl sat beside him, and he was reading his tablet screen. His ghost saw her first and nudged him. Jayesh looked up and his entire being brightened. "Hello, Kari!"

She grabbed a bowl of thick, nameless soup, which was tonight's dinner ration, and joined him at the table. "Hello, Jayesh. Clinic again today?"

He nodded. "Word got around, and now we have to perform Light constructs for the adults as well as the children. Look, I recorded some of it."

He turned his tablet around and showed her video of the various jokes and skits his team had put on, his weariness falling away as he laughed. Kari laughed with him, marveling at the effect he had on her. Her gloomy thoughts vanished, along with worries about food, plague, and aliens.

As he finished his story, he closed his tablet and folded his arms on it. "What about you? How was your day?"

"Normal," Kari said. "Not nearly as fun as yours. Just ... work. How do you do that?"

Jayesh blinked. "Do what?"

"Find the energy to entertain as well as heal."

Jayesh looked down a moment. When he looked up again, blue Light flashed in his brown eyes. "Honestly? I asked the Traveler for help last night, and it gave me a little extra Light. It helped today."

Kari stared at him, speechless. This was the sort of thing that drew her to him - the sheer, unselfconscious nerve to attempt the impossible, like borrowing extra Light from the Traveler itself - and then using it to put on silly plays for sick people.

"You are amazing," she said simply.

He grinned and looked away. "I know I should be out fighting big, bad enemies of the Light. But ... hey, look what I found." He reached under the table and lifted a Light construct of a cat into view by the tail. The cat's forearms were folded in exasperation.

It was so unexpected that Kari burst out laughing. So did nearby Guardians, who turned to look and guffawed. Soon the whole cafeteria was filled with wacky Light constructs.

"Look what you did," Kari said, as a rainbow arched overhead with dolphins leaping through it.

"I'm so not sorry," Jayesh said, studying the constructs and obviously getting ideas. "Oh, look at that one! I am totally giving myself giant hands tomorrow."

Kari studied his face, his enraptured expression, the kindness in his eyes as he planned ways to make people smile. Her heart tightened until she thought it might burst in her chest.

They left the cafeteria together, not quite holding hands. "One more day, then we're off," Jayesh said. "I'll be over on Saturday, if I don't sleep all day. Sounds kind of tempting."

Kari had so many things to say, and couldn't say them. "Better make it noon, then."

Something of her aching heart must have shown in her face, because Jayesh frowned and scrutinized her. "Are you all right?"

"Tired," she said, sounding more abrupt than she intended. "Just tired."

"Get some rest, then," he said. "Good night!"

Kari glanced over her shoulder as she walked away. He was headed toward the stairs to his floor, already talking to his ghost.

"Neko," she groaned. "I'm breaking my heart over him and we haven't even talked properly."

Neko's phased presence flickered with wistful jealousy. "I wish I was human so I could compete with him."

"Oh, Neko." She entered her apartment, flopped on the couch, and summoned her ghost. He appeared, looking sulky.

"Don't be jealous," she told him. "You got along with Rem and Trina."

"I was jealous then, too," Neko said. "I hid it better, is all. But I also want you to be happy, so I'm just going to have to get over it."

"Yes, you are." She kissed his blue shell. "Nothing will ever change you and me. I'll always love you."

Neko dipped over her shoulder and burrowed into her hair. "And I'll always love you," he whispered. "Whether things work out with Jayesh or not, I'm still here."

Kari leaned her head against her ghost and closed her eyes. "I hope things work out. Jayesh is wonderful without even trying."

* * *

On Saturday, Jayesh slept late simply because he could, but he was still up by ten. He took a leisurely shower, trying not to think entirely about Kari. Mostly, he failed.

"Phoenix," he said as he dressed, "ask Neko if Kari's up."

His ghost phased into sight. "She is, but she's cleaning Neko at the moment. He threatened me with death if we showed up now."

"Hmm." Jayesh grinned at his ghost. "That's a good idea, actually. You're looking a little tarnished around the edges. Let's polish you up."

A little later, Phoenix had been reduced to his small round core with the pieces of his shell in an orderly row on the desk. Jayesh scrubbed each segment with cleaning solution and rubbed them dry with a cloth.

Phoenix watched, thoroughly enjoying the attention. "Thanks. After weeks in hospitals, I was starting to feel contaminated."

"It's not like you could get sick," Jayesh pointed out. "But we definitely don't want germs spreading through the Tower. Not that it affects Guardians."

"Plenty of humans work here," Phoenix pointed out. "Eventually it'll be all humans, if the Guardians keep getting killed off."

"What a cheerful thought that is," Jayesh said sarcastically. "Actually, don't you mean ghosts who get killed off?"

"It happens," Phoenix said. "Is my core still discolored?" He spun in midair.

Jayesh leaned close and inspected the silvery sphere. "Looks like the scorch marks are still there. I can try to buff them out, if you want."

"No thanks." Phoenix gazed at him, nothing but a floating orb with an eye in it. "It's a reminder of when I was a Dawnblade."

Jayesh smiled a lopsided smile, as if the memory hurt him. "It was such a long shot. It might have just blown you up, for all I knew. But they were cutting my throat and I didn't have a lot of options."

"Don't talk about it," Phoenix said abruptly. "I don't want to go there right now."

"Sorry." Jayesh polished a segment and moved on to the next. "So ... uh ... what's the weather like?"

"Snowing again," Phoenix said. "Rotten climate. Why couldn't the Traveler have come to rest a little closer to the equator?"

"It wanted us to be tough, I guess," Jayesh replied. "If that sort of thing even occurred to it. It was fighting the Darkness at the time."

He reattached Phoenix's shell segments, then tilted him this way and that, watching the light flash off the yellow and red paint. "You look good, little light."

His ghost's pleasure touched his mind. "Thanks, Guardian."

Jayesh let him float into the air. "Look at me, successfully having a conversation with no mention of Kari."

Phoenix laughed. "Probably the last one, right?"

"Probably. Is Neko dressed yet?"

Phoenix messaged his brother ghost. "Yes, he says to come over when ready."

Jayesh checked his hair in the tiny bathroom mirror, tightened his belt, and set off upstairs to the nicer apartments where Kari lived.

* * *

Kari opened the door and beamed. "Hello, Jayesh. Come on in. Neko said you were on your way."

"Ghosts are so convenient," Jayesh said. Her apartment looked the same as ever - severely clean with every item in its place. Kari wore a softer, everyday robe instead of her armored combat one, and socks instead of her heavy boots. "Sorry about the mess," she said.

Jayesh glanced around for the mess. One cup sat on an end table. "It's okay. You should see my place. On second thought, don't."

They took their usual places on the sofa, an arm's length apart. An invisible barrier of mutual awkwardness separated them. Jayesh had never felt it before. He smiled at her. She smiled back.

"I might actually feel rested today," he told her. Why couldn't he say what he really meant? The only words his brain would form were the most superficial small talk.

"I didn't sleep very well," Kari replied. "But it's okay."

Silence descended. Jayesh gazed at the carpet, the back of his neck growing hot. He'd never had this problem before. Why couldn't he just talk to her?

"So," Kari said, "yesterday, I tried making Light constructs for the patients."

"You did?" He looked up in surprise. "How'd it go?"

Kari laced her fingers on one knee and gazed at them. "Well, at first I was embarrassed. But then the other warlocks started making them, and pretty soon people were hanging in the doorways to watch us. It got easier."

"I felt the same way when I first tried it," Jayesh replied. "Like, wow, this is the stupidest thing I've ever done. But the kids laughed so much, I relaxed a little."

This wasn't what he wanted to talk about, quite. But he didn't know how to reach the topic from here. From the way Kari kept nervously repositioning her hands, she didn't, either.

Silence filled the room again. Jayesh shifted positions. What would happen if he just ... brought up their future relationship? Surely it didn't need that much lead-up.

He cleared his throat. "So ... hypothetical question."

Kari looked up, her attention fixed on him with laser focus.

Jayesh fished in his brain for words. They came up stupid, but it was all he had. "Say you had a friend. Say that friend started to ... to develop feelings. Uh. For you. What would you tell him?"

Kari's face was completely blank. Jayesh cringed, waiting.

"Most likely," she said, "I'd tell him to take a hike."

Ouch. Jayesh's confidence withered.

"Madrid asked me, once," Kari added. "That's what I told him. But we're still friends."

Jayesh's heart tried to curl up and hide inside him. "Oh. Well. Glad I asked." He forced a smile. "No big deal."

It was a huge deal, but he couldn't let her see that.

Kari gazed at him with an odd expression. "Oh ... that isn't what I meant to say."

"No, no, it's fine," Jayesh said, getting up and looking toward the door. "Like I said, hypothetical question. No basis in reality at all."

He had to get out of here before he embarrassed himself any worse. Maybe he'd go down to the City and hide in a wrecked building for the rest of the day.

"Jay." Kari leaped off the couch and caught his hand. "Don't go. Please."

He turned to face her, forcing a smile. "Kari, I ... I shouldn't keep you."

She was so close, he caught the glint of tears in her eyes.

"Hypothetical question," she whispered. "If your teammate told you she thought you were wonderful, what would you say?"

Jayesh gazed at her, his brain so muddled, all language fled from him. He shrugged - a slow, painful shrug.

Kari slowly released his hand, her shoulders drooping.

Now he'd hurt her, too, somehow. "Kari, I don't ... you mean you ... it wasn't really hypothetical, was it?"

She wiped her eyes on the collar of her robe. "Jayesh, we have to talk about this."

"You just ... said you'd tell a hypothetical admirer to take a hike," Jayesh said. "So ... not much more I can say to that."

"If a random friend did, maybe," Kari said, her eyes beginning to flash. "But what about if it was you?"

"What if it was?" Jayesh replied. "I'm nobody. I think I should ... take that hike, now."

"Jay!" Kari grabbed his arm. "You stay right here. I've got to talk this out before I explode."

Jayesh stood stiff, tense. Once more, he was so confused, he had no idea what to do or say.

"Jay," Kari said, "I've had feelings for you since you killed that Gate Lord to save me. I've tried not to let them interfere with our friendship, but ... it's the truth."

She might as well have buried him in an avalanche. Jayesh's whole body went cold. The Gate Lord had been months ago. She'd kept quiet all this time? Kari, a superior Guardian who could have anything she wanted, including her choice in men? It astounded him. He'd thought maybe she'd developed a crush recently, but not this.

He gave an awkward laugh. "Wow, that's so lame."

Kari recoiled backward a step with a hurt expression. "Why is it lame?"

Why had he said that? Stupid, stupid, stupid! He tried to explain. "I mean ... that you've liked me for that long. And never said anything."

Kari glared at him now, tears and lightning flashing in her eyes. "Are you making fun of me?"

Wow, he'd dug a deep grave for himself with this one. Kari would hate him forever. Jayesh struggled to get a grip on his free falling thoughts, force them into something coherent. This was made worse by a growing self-loathing that he had put those tears in her eyes. She'd confessed her love and he'd called it lame. If only he could simply kiss her and fix everything, the way they did in movies.

"Kari," he said, "you're the most amazing woman I've ever met, and I really do have feelings for you. But I've got nothing to offer you - I'm probably the poorest Guardian in the Tower, I'm a Titan dropout, and I'm so new that I make mistakes all the time. And now I'm hurting you and I don't know how to stop, so, I'm just going to leave now before I make it worse."

Kari's face crumpled into real tears. "Jay-"

Things might have gotten better, but at that moment, an alarm sounded throughout the Tower. "Alert," a computer voice said. "Enemies have breached the west wall, repeat, enemies have breached the west wall. All Guardians to battle stations."

Jayesh and Kari exchanged one horrified look. Then Jayesh fled downstairs for his gear, and Kari rushed into her room for her combat robes.

As Jayesh yanked on his boots, Phoenix said dryly in his head, "I can't think of any way that could have possibly gone worse."

"Tell me about it," Jayesh muttered, slamming on his helmet. "You know when you threatened to hit me in the face? I deserve it. Once this is over, I want you to do it several times."

"Maybe it wasn't that bad," Phoenix hedged. "You both did tell each other how you feel. When you weren't being morons."

Jayesh jerked his pulse rifle off its rack on the wall. "I made her cry, Phoenix. I've never seen Kari cry before, and I did that. Traveler's Light, I'm such an idiot. Maybe getting shot a few times will make me feel better."

"Maybe they can shoot some sense into your head, while they're at it," Phoenix replied. "I told you not to run yourself down and you did it anyway!"

"Sorry," Jayesh said, bursting out of his room and sprinting down the hall. "We really should talk about this later. How many hostiles?"

"At last count, sixty," Phoenix replied. "Fallen are climbing the wall, somehow. The guards are holding them off, but even the Titans are calling for backup. Visibility is bad because of the snow, and footing is treacherous."

Jayesh burst outside. His boots sank in eight inches of snow. Flakes swirled in his face, sticking to his helmet's face shield. "Oh, this will be great," he muttered.

Guardians swarmed along the top of the wall toward the west gate a mile away. Jayesh launched himself into the air in a warlock glide and sped along in a series of long hops.

"Back to being a combat guardian?" Phoenix asked in his head.

Jayesh grinned, despite himself. "It's a nice change, actually."

It helped him not think about Kari saying, _I'd tell him to take a hike._

As they neared the west gate, a confusion of shooting and war cries met them through the snow. But the whirling curtain of white made it hard to see. Jayesh watched the HUD in his helmet for some idea of what was happening. He landed on the wall and ran with the others, his boots slipping a little with every step.

The Guardians ahead of him stopped to fire at something he couldn't make out. Someone yelled over the radio, "Visibility's too bad! Melee only!"

Great. Hand to hand with Fallen in the snow on top of a narrow, crowded, slippery wall.

The Guardians were shouting advice to each other now, spreading out, seeking targets. The invading Fallen were using active camouflage and electrified spears - a nasty combination in these conditions. Jayesh slipped around two Hunters battling a single alien who gripped a spear in two hands and knives in its other two hands.

He crashed into something he couldn't see. Silvery camouflage flashed in his face, and for a second, he stared into the spider-like eyes of one of the aliens. It stabbed him with its spear just as he blasted fire in its face, knocking its head off. It fell off the wall as it died.

Jayesh groaned and caught himself on the low railing, holding the stab wound in his stomach. But Phoenix was already healing it, the wound sealing together under Jayesh's fingers. In a few seconds Jayesh straightened and sprang back into the fight.

The aliens had been crafty. Instead of big, obvious pegs in the City walls, they had inserted hooks at long intervals. Nearly invisible from a distance, each little hook now had a rope dangling from it, which the aliens climbed like insects. At least thirty of these rope ladders dangled from the outside of the wall. Aliens swarmed at the wall's base, climbing as fast as they could.

"They're in the City!" a Guardian shouted. "Bastards are jumping down inside! Ghosts, scan for heat signatures!"

A scattered collection of red dots appeared on Jayesh's HUD on the inside of the wall - and too few green dots. He leaped into space and floated downward.

"Going to use Dawnblade?" Phoenix suggested.

"I swore I wouldn't as long as I was working as a healer," Jayesh said through his teeth.

"You punched that guy with fire."

"That doesn't count."

Jayesh hit the snow and dashed toward the nearest red dot on his map. He couldn't see the alien through the snow and camouflage, so he drew his pistol and fired a shot at empty space.

The bullet sparked off something invisible. The alien's camouflage failed, and it whirled to face him, snarling, slashing with its spear. Jayesh peppered it with bullets, but the alien dodged back and forth, presenting a difficult target. It slashed at his legs with its spear, opening a wound across Jayesh's right knee. As he staggered, it followed up its attack with a strike from a knife in its third hand.

Jayesh caught the hard, sinuous wrist and narrowly avoided another stab to the gut. He kicked its leg with the iron toe of his boot just as it brought its spear down on his right shoulder. The electrified blade cut straight through his light armor and into muscle and bone, nearly cutting his arm off. His arm went limp at his side, his pistol falling from his fingers.

Jayesh blasted fire in the alien's face with his good hand, but the blow was weaker than before. "Phoenix," he thought in agony.

"Working," his ghost replied.

The alien reeled backward, shielding its burned face. Then it lifted its spear again and charged with a stream of hissing words that sounded like curses.

Jayesh raised his hand and struck it with fire just as the spear ran him through. The alien spun sideways and fell dead.

Jayesh fell, too, gripping the spear's shaft. Looking down at himself, seeing a long pole sticking out of him, wrapped with leather strips as hand grips, filled him with horror. And it hurt - oh, it hurt. He grabbed the shaft with one hand and tried to pull it out, but the serrations on the blade caught on his insides. He screamed.

"I can't heal you unless you get it out," Phoenix exclaimed in panic.

Jayesh tried again, tried to use both hands, but his right arm wasn't healed yet. Pain had weakened his muscles. "I can't!"

"You have to!"

Suddenly another Guardian appeared out of the snow - a gray, indistinct figure. They bent over Jayesh, grabbed the spear handle in both hands, set a boot on it, and snapped it off.

The jolt sent sickness through him. Jayesh reeled, his vision going dark.

"It's not coming out that way," said a familiar female voice.

The Guardian pushed him onto his side, grasped the end of the spear head protruding from his back, and pulled it through and out.

Jayesh' scream ended in a cough that filled the inside of his helmet with blood.

The Guardian threw a healing rift onto the snow beneath him and strode away. "Don't be a wuss, Warlock," she called over her shoulder. "I've pulled two other spears out of Guardians already."

Between the blissful touch of the healing rift and Phoenix's careful, deft sweeps of his healing beam, the pain faded as his insides knit back together. His shoulder mended, and Jayesh was able to retrieve his pistol. He pulled off his helmet and scrubbed out the blood with a handful of snow.

"Thanks, Kari," he whispered into the whirling flakes.


	6. Spring

Jayesh resumed battling the invaders. The next one that brandished a spear, he shot at point blank range and took the spear. Working the switch to ignite the electrified blade, he charged the next alien and stabbed it through the middle. "Hurts, doesn't it?" he snarled, then shot it to end its misery.

Soon the aliens fled when they saw the crazed Guardian wielding one of their own spears. Jayesh drove them back toward the wall, leaping into the air in a glide, then smashing down, blade first, on his enemies from above. The snow may have hidden the aliens, but it hid him, too.

He and the other Guardians wiped out the aliens on the City side, then ran up a series of staircases to the top of the wall, where fighting was still fierce. By this time, Jayesh wasn't the only one with a stolen spear. Many Guardians slashed and stabbed with them, especially the Hunters, who had been trained in staff fighting.

His adrenaline pumping and the thirst for vengeance riding his senses, Jayesh glided off the outside of the wall and set fire to the ropes the aliens were using to climb. Then he threw a grenade into the waiting attackers for good measure. Their bodies scattered like leaves.

Once he lost too much altitude to reach the ropes, Jayesh plunged into the midst of the attackers, slashing the spear in a crisscross. It never occurred to him that he was the only Guardian outside the wall. The only thought in his head was to pay them back for being impaled on that spear.

Phoenix, however, kept his head. He messaged other nearby ghosts with their location and a plea for help. Within a few seconds, more Guardians joined Jayesh, just as hungry for battle.

The Fallen realized that their sneak attack had failed. One of them shouted to the others, and as one, the aliens turned and fled into the snowy haze, running on all fours for greater speed.

The Guardians pursued them a short distance, then gave up and returned to the wall to hunt for stragglers.

The red mist began to fade from Jayesh's brain. He looked around at the bodies of dozens of aliens and wondered how he'd gotten here. Then he spotted two Guardians lying in the snow with spears embedded in their bodies.

Healer Jayesh took over. He carefully shut off the electricity and removed the spear heads, then placed a healing rift beneath them.

Other Guardians were attending to the wounded, removing spears and knives. Ghosts appeared, healing their own Guardians and resurrecting others. It was a solemn end to the battle, all the more sobering because the Fallen had nearly succeeded in their invasion.

After a while, the Vanguard gave them clearance to open the west gate and let the Guardians back inside. Jayesh walked with the rest, brushing snow off his helmet visor. His robes were cold and damp, and his body ached in the aftermath of his various wounds. It wasn't until he was back in the Tower's warm briefing chambers that he realized his robes were wet with blood. A lot of blood, both his own and alien.

As he pulled off his helmet and looked around, he realized that most of the Guardians had bloody armor from being repeatedly wounded and healed. They removed helmets, revealing men and women who were tired, angry, or still a little crazed from bloodlust.

There weren't enough chairs, so the Guardians sat on the floor or against the walls, wiping melted snow out of their weapons or consulting ghosts.

Jayesh spotted Kari across the room, sitting against the wall and gently wiping snow off her ghost with the corner of her robe. Her robes were bloodstained, too. It looked like she'd taken a killing blow to the neck at some point.

Something reared up inside Jayesh and snarled. The Fallen had wounded him, but they had killed Kari. Not Kari, expert fighter, amazing Guardian.

Then he remembered that he'd made her cry. It was like being stabbed all over again.

Commander Zavala entered and addressed the Guardians. His armor was covered in melting snow, too. "You did a fine job out there, Guardians. We've repelled what might have been a devastating blow to the City."

Jayesh looked at Kari again to see her watching him. He gave her a small smile and a wave. She didn't return them, only stared as if he was a complete stranger.

"However," Zavala went on, "just because the Fallen have been driven off doesn't mean they won't attack again. We'll remove those hooks they inserted into our walls and make sure this doesn't happen again."

Jayesh checked to make sure Kari was still watching him. Then he drew a very small heart in midair with Light. He drew a zigzag down its middle. Then he waved a hand through the construct to erase it.

Kari looked away, biting her lip.

Jayesh dropped his head into one hand. "She hates me," he thought to Phoenix. "I'll never be able to fix this."

"Stop moaning and be patient," Phoenix retorted.

Zavala finished praising his Guardians and gave orders for more patrols outside the City. Then he dismissed them. The Guardians departed in a crowd, talking, retelling bits of the battle, seeking out their friends and slapping them on the backs.

Kari was one of the first ones out, and vanished in the direction of her room.

Glumly Jayesh went to his room, changed out of his stained battle gear, and dropped them down the laundry chute for cleaning. Then he sat on his bed in his thin pants and undershirt, staring at nothing. The weekend, which had seemed so full of promise, now stretched ahead of him, barren and empty.

"Well," he said to Phoenix. "No point sticking around, I guess."

"What do you mean?" his ghost asked, phasing into sight and looking at him.

Jayesh went to his tiny closet and pulled out the robes he wore to the hospitals. "They'll need help down at the clinic. They always do."

Phoenix watched him dress. "Jay," he said quietly, "you're supposed to rest. You just fought a battle."

Jayesh smiled a little as he fastened his belt. "It's fine, Phoenix. It's better than moping around here and being miserable. Kari doesn't want to talk to me, anyway."

They left for the clinic and worked the rest of the afternoon. The next day, even though it was Jayesh's other day off, he got up and went to work again.

They didn't see Kari for three weeks.

* * *

Kari changed out of her gory robes and took a quick shower to wash the blood out of her hair.

"Neko," she said inside her head, "Jayesh was one of the Guardians with a spear in him. And I don't even know which one."

"Third one," Neko replied. "Inside the wall. You had to break the spear handle to get it out, remember?"

"That was him?" Kari stared at the wall of the shower stall, horrified. He was the only one she'd had to break the spear to get it out. And she'd called him a wuss when he screamed. It seemed only a short while ago that he'd stood in her living room, telling her that he loved her and was unworthy of her in the same breath.

Why hadn't she been able to tell him straight out what she meant? That she needed him in her life, that his courage and humor brought light to her lonely world, that he didn't have to measure himself by his accomplishments?

"Neko, have I ruined everything?" she whispered, stepping out of the shower and toweling off.

"I hope not," Neko said. "But still, this has been the worst morning ever."

"I've got to talk to him," Kari murmured, pulling on her clothes. "Did you see him in the briefing room, making that tiny broken heart? I almost started bawling right in front of everyone."

"Was he saying that his heart was broken?" Neko asked. "Or was he apologizing for breaking yours?"

"Either one makes me feel awful," Kari said, buckling on a fresh robe. "But I think there's still a chance. I don't think he's given up on me yet." She sat down to pull on her boots. "Ping his ghost, tell him we're coming over."

Neko materialized and obeyed. Then he slowly drooped in midair. "They're on their way out to the clinic."

Kari froze, a boot in one hand. "The clinic? Why?"

Neko was silent a moment. Then he blinked at his Guardian. "I'm so sorry, Kari. But Jayesh thinks you hate him now, so he's staying out of the Tower."

Kari slammed her boot on the floor and kicked it against the wall. Then she stormed into her room, threw herself on the bed, and burst into tears.

* * *

Kari couldn't catch Jayesh, no matter how she tried.

When she looked for him in the cafeteria after work, he had always just returned his dishes and left. She tried waiting outside his apartment door, but he would spot her from a distance and double back the other direction. He contrived to work the next few weekends, so there was no chance of seeing him, then.

"Neko," she asked desperately, "can you ask Phoenix to talk to him for me?"

"I've tried," Neko said sadly. "He tells me that Jayesh is crushed and can't bear any more."

This hit Kari in the heart like a knife. "Can ... can he at least tell him I'm sorry?"

"Is that really what you want to say?" Neko asked. "Think of it from his perspective. He thinks you've rejected him. Apologizing will drive the nail even deeper."

Kari sat there, feeling cold. "What do I do? He won't talk to me, he's going out of his way to avoid me. Even his ghost is stonewalling."

"I don't know." Neko brushed his shell against her cheek. "I'm sorry this went so badly. I thought you two would work it out."

She cupped a hand around Neko and rubbed her cheek against his shell. "I forget how sensitive Jayesh is. I was too harsh. When I do see him again, I'll be as gentle as I can."

"It's his strength and his weakness," Neko observed. "He empathizes, but he's also hurt so easily."

"I know that," Kari said in a low voice. "And I forgot at the worst time."

* * *

Kari stopped trying to see Jayesh. She sank back into her routine, healing in the hospitals on rotation, fighting the constant battle against the War Lung sickness.

As March crept toward April, the snow turned to sleet that chilled and soaked at the same time. The weather grew warmer, and the sun rose earlier. Green began to appear on the trees and in the fields.

The weary city welcomed the beginnings of spring. The city's greenhouses had been rebuilt and were filled with plantations of soybeans and wheat. The yeast vats were producing again, and various yeast products appeared in stores - yeast chicken product, yeast tofu, yeast beef. It wasn't quite the same as the real thing, but it was cheap and filled the belly.

The power plant stuck to its rotation, and people came to accept that electricity was a luxury. Everyone cooked over wood fires and charcoal. The Guardian patrols kept crime down, and as more stores and businesses reopened, unemployment dropped, and the slumped economy began to show signs of reviving.

They had nearly conquered the first, terrible winter after the Red War.

Following the Fallen attack, the Guardian shift schedules went through shuffling for several weeks to allow for more Guardians on patrol. Kari bounced from hospitals to patrols and back again, never working with the same team twice.

This was how, at the beginning of April, she ended up on a team with Jayesh.

It was the middle of the week. Kari had been at a different hospital every day, but she was supposed to stay with this one the rest of the week. The hospitals and other warlocks had begun to blur together in her mind, so she didn't notice Jayesh until he said, "Once we're all here, we cast healing rift together. We call it deep stacking."

She stepped into the designated healing room and froze. Jayesh was talking to an Awoken warlock, who was summoning Light in both hands with a look of intense concentration. Jayesh looked exhausted, with deep shadows under his eyes and a sag to his posture. He had worked nearly twenty-two days straight to stay out of her way.

Then Jayesh looked up and saw Kari.

They stared at each other for a long, stunned second.

"Kari?" Jayesh breathed. "What are you doing here?"

"I was assigned to this mercy team," she replied.

Another long silence followed. The other warlock looked up. "Is there something I should know?" He was tall and thin, with a bright orange mohawk.

"Uh, it's nothing," said Jayesh. "This is my friend, Kari. Kari, this is Aden."

"Sup," said Aden. "Lots of people waiting. Let's get started."

Jayesh signaled the nurse to begin bringing in patients. All three warlocks placed their healing rifts in the same spot, then sat in the chairs provided, keeping their feet in the circles to maintain them.

As sick people hobbled in and sat in the healing rifts, Kari edged her chair closer to Jayesh's. He eyed her apprehensively.

"Why have you been hiding from me?" she whispered.

"Let me think," he whispered back. "The last time you spoke to me, you were yanking a spear through my back and calling me names."

"I didn't know that was you!" she hissed. "Not until we got back and you had blood everywhere."

"You barely looked at me," he whispered back. "Then you left! What was I supposed to think?"

"I was trying not to cry!" she whispered. "And then you never even gave me a chance to make up!"

Jayesh folded his arms and sat back in his chair, surveying the patients. "Well. I'm sorry, if that's worth anything."

"I am, too," she murmured.

A little girl crawled across other people's legs and tugged the hem of Jayesh's robe. "Please, mister warlock, could we see some Light pictures?"

The other patients echoed this, looking hopeful.

Jayesh dragged himself onto his feet, smiling a little raggedly. "Sure! Let's see. What should I do first?" A giant hand made of Light appeared above him and pretended to scratch his head.

The children shouted and pointed.

"Oh, I know!" Jayesh said. The giant hand changed into a lightbulb. "You there, in the front. What's your favorite animal?"

A moment later, a menagerie of Light animals charged around the room above people's heads - cats, dogs, horses, birds, fish. People clapped and cheered, forgetting they were being healed of deadly illnesses. All that mattered was ducking the hooves of the horse as it galloped by.

A timer rang. The constructs faded. Jayesh sat down, and the nurses ushered out well people and brought in another batch of sick people.

"Your turn," Jayesh muttered to Aden.

Aden grinned. "I know just what to do."

As Jayesh slouched in the chair and closed his eyes, Kari dared to rest a hand on his arm. "I still think you're amazing."

"Crowd participation," he muttered without opening his eyes. "Easier than inventing ideas myself."

Even if things weren't exactly friendly between them, at least they were talking again.

Kari watched as Aden put on show illustrating a popular children's story about a little girl speaking to a lone Fallen, only to have it creep into her house, disguise itself as her grandmother, and try to eat her. At the end, she was rescued by a Guardian in glowing gold who smashed the Fallen into sparkling dust.

The crowd cheered and clapped. Jayesh did, too.

When the next batch of patients had taken their seats, it was Kari's turn. Her brain feeling desperately empty, she stood up and introduced herself. "So, is everybody tired of winter?"

Cheers. Shouts of yes.

The thin shred of an idea crept into her mind. "Who would like a taste of spring?"

More cheers.

Kari threw Light into the air. Various sparkles became tiny sprouts that grew leaves and buds, then bloomed into flowers the size of boulders, each petal and stamen traced in yellow or pink. The crowd gasped in delight.

Kari conjured giant bees to visit each flower, then a butterfly the size of a bed sheet. It chased bees around, then the bees chased the butterfly. People laughed and pointed.

The timer rang. Kari let the constructs fade. She sank into her chair, breathing hard, for some reason.

Jayesh gazed at her with a surprised expression. "That ... was really beautiful, Kari."

"Thanks," she said. Under cover of the confusion of new patients coming in, she created two flowers in the palm of her hand, where only Jayesh would see. They curved together to form a heart, then slowly wilted away to nothing.

Jayesh swallowed and focused on the patients, but his eyes were moist.

They took turns making constructs for the rest of the day. Every few hours they refreshed the healing rifts. Kari felt the tension between herself and Jayesh slowly ease over the course of the day. They didn't have much time to talk, but at least they seemed to be friends again.

They rode the monorail home, too tired to talk much. But they went to the cafeteria together for the first time in weeks.

Rations had expanded with the addition of yeast products. They actually had something that resembled stir fry chicken with noodles and strange, foreign vegetables.

"At least it's not okra," Kari muttered.

Jayesh snorted into his bowl. "Anything's better than okra."

They ate in silence, but it was a friendly silence this time. After a while, Kari said, "You know, I was serious about what I said. When you came over that time."

Jayesh met her eyes. "I was, too."

She smiled. "Which part? The feelings part? Or the being an unworthy worm part?"

"Both." He twirled his fork in his bowl to collect stray noodles. "Look, giving you up these past few weeks was really hard. Can't we just stay friends and not worry about our feelings?"

Kari didn't answer for a long moment. It wasn't what she wanted, but it was better than the frigid silence that had stood between them. "It's a start."

He looked up with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "And next time I'm dying of being run through by a spear, don't call me a wuss."

"I didn't know that was you!" Kari exclaimed. "You were the third person of, like, nineteen that I pulled blades out of. And, if you recall, I had just confessed my feelings to someone who called them lame."

Jayesh's face colored a dull red. "All I meant was that I couldn't believe you'd liked me that long. The words wouldn't come out right." He leaned toward her. "Maybe it was because someone had just told me to take a hike."

"You said it was hypothetical," Kari hissed, clenching both fists on the table. "I've had a few guys fall for me over the years. I wasn't interested. I told them that. They moved on. But you're different."

Jayesh didn't seem to know how to reply. He took a bite and chewed slowly.

"Also," Kari said, "what was this?" She drew the shape of a heart out of Light, and added a zigzag down the middle.

Jayesh stared at his bowl for a long moment. "I was trying to apologize. For making you cry. And you'd been killed in that battle, and I ... it really upset me."

A lump formed in Kari's throat. So many misunderstandings. So much unintentional hurt. She took a drink of water to try to steady her voice.

Jayesh went on, "That's one reason I stayed away. I was so ashamed. I don't want to hurt you, Kari. You've already been through so much, losing Rem. And I'm ... I'm no heroic, high-ranking Guardian."

"Shush," Kari said. "The cafeteria is no place for a conversation like this."

He nodded. "I'm way past the edge of tired, anyway. Friends again? Dinners together and all that?"

Kari nodded and held out a hand. "Friends again and so forth."

Jayesh shook it, releasing her hand reluctantly.

They turned in their dishes and walked to the dormitories together. As they reached the spot where they parted ways, Kari said, "And stop telling yourself that you're an unworthy worm."

Jayesh smiled and ducked his head. "Phoenix has been on my case about it, and you are, too."

"I'm serious," Kari said. "Find a scrap of self-worth and tell me about it tomorrow."

He laughed a little. "No promises."

Jayesh went to his room and Kari went to hers. As she locked her door, Neko popped into view. "You two are as good as a TV show. A really sappy TV show."

"Oh, hush," Kari said, unbuckling her ammo belt and twin pistols. "At least he's speaking to me again."

Neko made an exaggerated sigh. "Ah, twue wuv."

"Did you set me up on the schedule with him today?" Kari asked, glaring at her ghost.

"Don't be ridiculous," Neko retorted. "Ikora does all the scheduling herself. Maybe she planned it. It's pretty obvious Jayesh was working himself to death."

"He'd better not," Kari said severely. "He's taking his days off to rest, or else."

"Or else what?" Neko said. "I can pass your threat along to Phoenix."

Kari smiled. "Or else I'll hunt him down and kiss him in public."

"Good one," Neko said. "But that's the eventual plan, isn't it?"

Kari's face grew warm. "Maybe."

She was brushing her teeth when Neko said, "I told Phoenix. He told Jayesh. Jayesh responded that he'd like to see you try."

"It is so on," Kari replied.


	7. Love and Infrastructure

Jayesh lay in bed, smiling at the ceiling.

"What?" Phoenix said from his spot on the pillow beside his head.

"Nothing," Jayesh said, still smiling. "But I think I'm going to sleep better tonight than I have in three weeks."

"Funny how making up with your girlfriend does that," Phoenix said.

"She's not my girlfriend," Jayesh said.

"Jay," Phoenix said, "she's been in love with you for months. She just threatened to kiss you in public. What else do you call that?"

"Future wife," Jayesh replied.

Phoenix laughed so hard, he toppled off the pillow.

"I'm serious," Jayesh replied, catching his ghost before he could fall off the bed. "It won't happen right away. But in a few years."

Phoenix re-settled himself in place. "Good, because the City is so screwed up right now, it'll take years to stabilize it."

"And I'm not comfortable proposing right now, anyway," Jayesh said. "I may not be an unworthy worm, but I've barely been a Guardian a year."

"A year and two weeks, actually," Phoenix replied. "Your resurrection day was March twenty-first."

Jayesh went quiet, thinking of opening his eyes in the snow and seeing his ghost for the first time.

"Phoenix," he said, "just so you know, you'll always be my best friend."

His ghost angled his eye light and segments in a smile. "And you'll always be my Guardian."

* * *

Jayesh and Kari went to work together the next morning. They sat together on the monorail and held hands openly for the first time. Jayesh still had a grayish look from overwork, but he was more cheerful.

"Things are looking up," he told Kari. "The city is pulling through, and winter's almost over. We can catch up on healing and rebuilding once the weather warms up."

Kari nodded. "You did this, you know."

"It wasn't me," Jayesh said. "The Vanguard pulled together in a great way. I'm so proud of all of us Guardians."

"You started the ball rolling," Kari pointed out.

"Ikora did," Jayesh said. "All I did was help. Don't give me too much credit, Kari."

She smiled and squeezed his hand. "You're so infuriating."

He returned her smile. "In a good way?"

"Maybe."

He gazed into her eyes, his smile fading. "How are you feeling? You know, since the battle."

"All right, I suppose," Kari replied. "Neko's so good at his job, I don't remember the pain much."

"They killed you," Jayesh said, clasping her hand in both of his and gazing at it. "I was wounded a few times, but I didn't die."

She leaned against him. "Jay, I've been resurrected so many times, it doesn't bother me. Just part of being a Guardian."

"It bothers me," he said, very quietly. "I should have been there. We're a fire team."

He gave her a long look, and she glimpsed in his eyes how much he cared. He'd carried that quiet anguish for nearly three solid weeks.

"I forgive you," she whispered. "It's not your fault. Conditions were terrible and it was hard to keep track of each other."

He stroked the back of her hand. "I shouldn't have stayed away. That's what's bothering me. But you were hurt, and I ... I didn't know what to say. I'm a coward."

"I hurt you, too," Kari said. "You're not a coward. Just ... inexperienced."

"Boy, am I," Jayesh said dryly. "I promise to never run from you again. I'll always try to talk things out, even if I make it worse."

"And I'll never run from you," Kari replied. "Even when I'm so mad at you I can't see straight."

He grinned a little. "It's a deal, then."

The monorail arrived at the station, and they rose from their seats, still holding hands.

"I think my Light is stronger today," Kari said.

Jayesh gave her a quick, adoring look. "Mine is, too. Funny, I didn't even ask for it."

They exchanged a secretive, longing smile, and set out for the hospital.

* * *

"Want to go on a walk?" Jayesh asked Kari a month later.

It was May. The evening was actually warm enough to wear short sleeves, and the sky swirled with golden cirrus that promised a spectacular sunset.

"Sure!" Kari followed him out of the Tower and onto the top of the wall. It was less crowded out there, with only the occasional guard to see them. One side of the wall reflected the setting sun's orange rays, while the other side was bathed in blue shadow. Birds sang evening songs in the distant trees, sometimes winging overhead on their way home for the night.

Kari's hand found Jayesh's. They strolled along the top of the wall together, surveying the City on one side and the countryside on the other.

"You know," Kari said, "I was reading a report on the warlock healing statistics. They estimate that we saved three hundred thousand people. That's more than half the City's population."

"That many of them had War Lung?" Jayesh gave her a shocked look. "Although ... thinking of some days when we healed crowds and crowds of people, it makes sense."

"War Lung is dying down, finally," Kari added. "Warmer weather means the water's not frozen, and people are staying cleaner. Plus, there's more food."

"And jobs and better conditions," Jayesh said. "And hope. Hope is good."

Kari nodded and tucked a lock of auburn hair behind one ear. "Another article mentioned that Light construct entertainment is so popular, they're featuring it in theaters. Can you imagine Guardians doing that on the side? What fun."

"I'm on the roster for the Tower Troupe Entertainers," Jayesh said with an embarrassed grin.

Kari socked his shoulder. "No way! Seriously?"

He nodded. "I've gotten pretty good at performing for crowds. I plan to get in lots of practice this summer. Plus, extra glimmer."

Kari beamed at him. "I'm proud of you. Staying involved, branching out."

He shrugged. "I learned that I like people. Making them laugh. I'm still a Guardian - you know, a protector - but I can also use my powers to enrich human lives. There's so much more to being a Guardian than killing things."

They found a clear spot on the wall and sat down to watch the sunset, letting their legs dangle over the City side. By now, the golden clouds had turned pink and scarlet, the powerful colors reflecting off the Traveler and its debris field.

"And you know," Jayesh said, "it's funny, but the Traveler approves."

Kari gazed at the huge moon-like orb, now filled with cracks and holes where it had blown out its own hull to save humanity from Ghaul. "How do you know that?"

Jayesh folded his hands in his lap and gazed at them for a long moment. "Well, I ... I apologized to it. For wasting its Light on entertainment."

"Unworthy worm," Kari muttered.

"Hey," Jayesh said, looking petulant. "I was concerned, okay? I'd been reading about what happens when Guardians misuse Light, how that whole slide into corruption starts. It always starts with little things. Self-serving things. And I'm using my Light to earn extra cash, so, I told the Traveler and apologized."

Kari waited as Jayesh gathered his thoughts. The scarlet clouds had darkened to purple, but a crimson glow still tinted the horizon. The Traveler was entirely blue with a thin pink rim of afterglow along its extreme edge. A warm breeze touched their faces.

"And it replied," Jayesh said, gazing at the Traveler. "It told me that ... well. That's kind of personal. But using my Light to delight and refresh others is entirely acceptable."

"I probably don't want to know the personal bit," Kari said.

Jayesh sat in silence for a moment, drumming one heel against the wall, debating how to phrase it. "It has to do with love."

"Oh," Kari said, drawing it out.

He smiled a little. "Guardians are fighters, you know. We weren't meant to love. But ... as it turns out, when your Light surpasses a certain level, you regain that part of your humanity."

Kari stared. "I never knew that."

"I found it in the Warlock writings, actually," Jayesh said. "The Traveler confirmed it. The strange thing is ..." He took her hand, interlacing his fingers with hers. "All the things that make me weak ... you know, caring about people, thinking too much ... that's because I was resurrected with so much Light. Phoenix?"

He held out his other hand, summoning his ghost. Phoenix looked at them, confused.

"I need to ask about when you resurrected me," Jayesh said.

Phoenix replied uncertainly, "All right."

"Is there any way you could have given me too much Light?"

The ghost didn't answer for a moment. He turned and watched the last of the sunset, his red and yellow shell picking up a little of the color.

"I searched for you for a thousand years, Jay," Phoenix said at last. "I was one of the first ghosts the Traveler sent out after the Collapse. By the time I found you, my own Light was dim. Reviving you, bonding with your spark, revived me. If you have extra Light, it's because of you, yourself." He gave his Guardian a tender look. "I always thought your spark burned brighter than any I'd seen."

"Hm." Jayesh released his ghost, who floated watchfully over his shoulder. "Honestly, I don't know why I came back more human than Guardian. Maybe that's why adjusting has been so hard."

Kari slid closer and put an arm around him. "Maybe that's what drew me to you. Lots of Guardians don't care the way you do. Killing and dying and being resurrected becomes this weird sport. Just ... part of the way we live. I was like that."

"But you loved Rem," Jayesh pointed out.

"After I'd been a Guardian forty-four years," Kari replied. "Until that point, I didn't care. I met him when I killed him in a Crucible match. He asked me out afterward."

Jayesh chuckled.

"He was mad at me, I think," Kari went on. "That first date was some kind of weird revenge. We bantered and argued and wound up having a great time. We kept dating and I ... I started caring. So did he."

Jayesh slipped an arm around her, too. "And you never stopped."

"No," Kari said. "Finding his body and dead ghost was the blackest moment I'd ever experienced. To learn to care ... and then having the person you care about torn away ... If I didn't have Neko, I'd have lost my mind."

Jayesh put both arms around her and hugged her properly. Kari leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I can't imagine anything worse."

They sat like that for a while, their arms wrapped around each other. Jayesh had wanted to hold her for so long, he didn't want to let her go. But finally she stirred and he released her, keeping one arm around her waist.

"Then you came along," Kari said, tears clinging to her eyelashes. "Your Light is as powerful as a century-old Guardian's. I couldn't believe it when your ghost told me you had barely finished training. You destroyed a Gate Lord by yourself. Nobody does that."

Jayesh gave her a wry smile. "I may be powerful, but I have zero experience. I just wanted to save you."

"And you resurrected me," Phoenix added from overhead. "Nobody does that, either."

Jayesh started to reply, but his voice cracked and he stopped.

"The point is," Kari whispered, "the things that make you weak also make you strong. It's why I ..."

Jayesh turned his head and kissed her, very gently. His lips were like a velvet flame against hers.

"... I love you," she breathed.

He kissed her again, longer this time, running his fingers through her hair. "And I love you," he whispered, nuzzling her cheek. "I love you so much that I've stayed away from you. You've been so hurt. I don't want to make it worse."

"You won't," she murmured. "You're a healer, remember?" She embraced him and kissed him firmly, decisively, showing him how much he meant to her.

Afterward, they sat close together, arms around each other, as the stars emerged twinkling in the indigo sky.

"I suppose we should get married," Kari said. "Make it official and all that."

"I think we should," Jayesh agreed. "Sorry this proposal isn't more romantic. I didn't really mean to do it this way." He conjured a tiny flower with hearts for petals in the palm of his hand.

Kari took it and gazed at it until it faded. Her heart swelled with tenderness. "How would you have done it?"

He smiled ruefully. "Flowers. Jewelry. A ring with a diamond the size of a thirty-stone glimmer piece. Fancy dinner. Instead, we're sitting outside on the wall, watching the sun go down."

She kissed his cheek. "Seems romantic to me."

He returned her kiss and stroked her hair. "Some Guardians really go all out for their mates. And I ... I guess I'm just not very fancy. Do you really want to put up with me? I mean, my idea of a wild weekend is reading Warlock lore for eight hours."

"If you can put up with me," Kari replied, "and my obsessive cleaning habits."

He grinned. "I think I could put up with a lot more than that. Like Neko. He's going to hate me for stealing you from him."

Neko popped into view. "No I won't! Well, not very much."

"Neko," Jayesh said gravely, "would you give me permission to marry your Guardian?"

The ghost stared at him for a long moment. Then he gazed at Kari with a soft expression. Finally, he turned back to Jayesh. "Yes. As long as you're very kind to her."

"That's why I want to marry her," Jayesh replied. "To be kind all the time."

Phoenix zipped into view. "Same thing in reverse," he told Kari. "You'd better be good to Jayesh. I've seen him suffer for too long to allow him any more heartache."

Kari smiled. "Don't worry, Phoenix. I'll take the utmost care of him. I know how sensitive he is."

"I'm not sensitive," Jayesh protested.

"Yes, you are," Kari, Phoenix, and Neko all said at once.

Jayesh blushed.

Neko gave Jayesh a severe look. "And when you have children, you'd better be a good father."

"Whoa, wait a minute," Jayesh said. "We're going straight to kids now? I didn't think Guardians could reproduce."

"What gave you that idea?" Kari said. "We have families. Thing is, when you're immortal, you tend to outlive your kids."

Jayesh's face fell. "They wouldn't be Guardians, would they?"

"It does happen," Phoenix said. "But not very often. If their spark is compatible with the Light, a ghost will find them eventually."

Jayesh gazed out at the City. Only portions of its lights were on, but even the dark sections had the red glow of wood fires.

"We could raise a family down there," he said quietly. "Does the Vanguard give leave for that?"

"Yes," Kari said. "They know very well that it's an investment in the future of both the City and Guardians."

They sat there in silence, contemplating building a legacy together.

Jayesh brightened. "On the plus side, if our kids have kids, and their kids have kids, pretty soon, you and I will be the matriarch and patriarch of a whole clan. That would be awesome."

Kari laughed. "That's true! I know some Guardians do have huge numbers of descendants, all mortal, of course. But it'd be comforting, knowing we have family."

"And all the more reason to fight for the Last City," Jayesh said. "Although, in a few generations, we might spread out and have multiple cities. I just hope we get some Guardians, too. I don't want us to die out."

Kari leaned against him and rubbed the back of his neck. "You have such foresight. It's one thing I love about you."

They held each other and watched as the moon began to rise over the mountains, casting a silvery light across the Traveler.

"I'm afraid I can't marry you yet," Jayesh sighed into her hair. "I've got finances to sort out so I don't dump a bunch of bills and debts on you."

"It doesn't matter," Kari said.

"Yes it does," Jayesh insisted. "Look, I'm a Guardian. I'm going to be your Guardian. And I'm going to do it right."

Kari gazed at him, his face shadowy in the darkness. "Jay, I could probably pay off everything from my savings account."

"I'll take care of it," he said. "Can you wait a year?"

"It seems so long," she sighed. "If I have to, I suppose. But why do you have to do everything yourself? Why can't I help?"

He held her close, breathing the aroma of her hair. "I'm going to prove I'm not an unworthy worm. I'm not going to sponge off you. I want to be a plus, not a minus."

She laughed breathily against his neck. "Fair enough. But there's better be lots of dates while we wait."

He tilted her chin up and kissed her again. "There will be."

The end


End file.
